Wednesday, February 4, 2009


It was kind of a rough weekend. Sometimes it takes all I have in me to deal with my ex husband and my daughter's father. They call and want to talk to the kids, they want to come by and pick them up and I feel like they think that is all there is too it. Sometimes we get along great, other times, my mouth starts to rattle off, which gets them started and then its a big ole mess. It took me a really long time to get the things that happened to me out of my system, sometimes I think I still have a little anamosity there. But in order to truly be free of those feelings, there has to be some sort of forgiveness that needs to take place. Now I have forgiven, well I thought I had anyway. Thats what I tell myself, but I am guessing that if I keep getting upset or bringing things up, it's not really forgiving.

2 Corinthians 2: 5 - 11 - If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

I think this is more for me today than it is anyone else. Satan is alive and well and we don't really give him enough credit. Credit in that he is strong and as much as we think that we can deal w/ anything, he is sitting back laughing b/c he knows how to get to us. The anger, resentment and maybe even hate that we feel for a friend who did us wrong, a child who didn't do what we thought they needed to do, an ex who left us or even ourselves.. I am good about getting mad at myself for making mistakes. It all has to go away. I think that God doesn't necessarily want us to forget what has happened because I think we grow stronger through the things we go through but we need to forgive just as He forgives us. And I mean really forgive, not to bring it up again.

We are never going to be the best of buddies, but in order for my family to have some kind of order and peace, we definately have to get along and not egg each other on. That's what I am going to work on.

Matthew 6:15 - But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I love you all!!!

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