Thursday, April 29, 2010

I need some help!

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." Matt 18:19

I looked this verse up this morning. I have heard it so many times before and you know how you hear something and even read something but never really THINK about what it says? Well this morning, some things were brought to my attention, some I knew about already and some I just found out about and I thought immediately about this verse and all of you ladies. No matter what things we are all going through, and trust me when I say NONE of us are perfect and we ALL have things going on right now, today.. God is the one, the only one who can take care of it. I really believe that and He allowed us, whether we all personally know each other or not, to be a family through a common bond and that would be Jesus. And because of that, I believe that if we all pray, things may not happen JUST like we want them too, but I know that God will listen and take care of it how He sees fit. So I am going to specifically (and I hope these people don't get upset with me, but I just think that sometimes you have to have names) ask each of you to really pray about some stuff with me... because after all.... God said it...

"if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven"

I have a really dear dear friend, my best friend actually, Shauwan who is pregnant. And as exciting a time as this is, sometimes there are things involved like stress that can bring you down. She is on bed rest until her baby gets here, which is in August and I just really want you all to pray that she really feels God's calming hand and that the baby is born healthy.

Jordan is my friend Kimmy's son and he is 17 or 18 I think and he is undergoing Chemo right now. He is almost done, one more treatment to go but just pray that treatment goes well and that he recovers to the happy, vibrant person he is. Also that his family just kind of gets back to normal and things calm down.

I love being a mommy, it's the best feeling in the world but being a single mommy.. well sometimes it ways heavy. Making decisions alone, making sure the kids are getting all of their school work, getting to and from activities, what happens is the car quits on you and money..well, money is probably an issues for alot of people but when there is only one income, it makes it extra hard. Melinda, Demi, Mollie ( and any one else this applies too) I totally understand it all. Believe me I do. I have been there when I doubted that God was even listening to me anymore but you know what, that is what Satan wants us to do. He wants us to start doubting, to lay down and give up. I am not here to tell you my life is perfect and I have all the answers because each one of you personally know some of my struggles and that each day is different. But I know this, God really IS listening. There is nothing going on is our lives ( and yep, that includes me) that He cannot and WILL not fix, if we just really start to believe and trust Him with everything we have in us. If it means going outside and screaming to the top of your lungs, DO IT.. but then you tell God.. tell Him exactly whats going on and let Him know that you cannot do it alone, that you want Him there beside you... and He will. I have a very special place in my heart for all of you, know that and it's going to be ok.

Marriage is not the easiest thing in the world. I have been there too and although I am divorced now, I know that problems arise. I remember when I got married, my dad told me one day "you know, you will get mad, have arguments right? Just don't let the anger cloud your thoughts." That's all, he never elaborated, never said another word about it, but I knew. With the economy like it is, I am sure it is putting strains on alot of households and marriages. But you know what, you just gotta remember why you got married in the first place. Remember that you made vows before God and friends that you would stick together. Now in my case, things just didn't work out, but if that happens to be you, again I say.. Satan... he's very much alive and well and wants to make your life here hell. Don't let him do it. Get on your hands and knees and stop him in his tracks. You do what you have to do to make it work.

There is just so much going on right now. Here in Albany and all over and like I said yesterday, maybe I am not praying enough, maybe I need to do more, or maybe i just need some back up. So that's what I decided today... cause 2 or 3 or 10 or 20 is way better than 1 !!!

I pray that you all have a blessed, relaxing, calm day. Don't let the enemy destroy us. It;s really time that we stick together.. not just talk it, but actually walk it!! I love you all very much and remember .. there is POWER in prayer!! Until next time, Lord willing...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Good Wednesday morning ladies!! I hope you all have had a wonderful week so far. When I left work Friday at 1:00, that started my mini vacation. I didn't leave Albany, had no big or major plans and really didn't plan on leaving my house to tell the truth, I was just going to be off for four days. I know I have said this a million and a half times, but I am so thankful that God has seen fit to bless me like He has. I had the best time this past (long) weekend. I also realized through talking with some friends, listening to some stories and getting some much needed advice, maybe I am not thanking God enough or like I should. Every morning I wake up, all of us really, should be on our knees thanking God that He allowed us to see another day. I saw on the news last night that a woman was on her way to church and was killed in a car accident. It can happen to any one of us at any given time.

I think alot of time I take for granted all that God has done, even being so cocky and conceited enough to think that I am the one making things happen. And when that happens, God has a way of showing me JUST how much He really is in charge and I am quickly brought back to reality. These past few days were an eye opener for me. I found out some good and not so good things that honestly I have been doing and as much as I think I am trying to hide things from anyone in my life, there is no hiding from God.

I really am thankful for everything God has given to me. And I am blessed to be able to share bits and pieces of my life (no matter how odd it may seem to some of you) and have you listen to me and give me encouragement on a daily basis. I literally woke up this morning with a smile on my face and a peaceful feeling inside and it was nice.

I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the day. Lord willing,we will talk again soon!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

It's Friday..finally!!!

Well ladies, made it through another work week. Praise God! And it's been a really really long one too. Had to get ready for the final hooray for basketball.. the banquet. So lots of running around for that and then, day of the banquet, I am headed to Sam's and what happens, a 16 year old in a brand new mustang pulls out in front of me and BAM. Thank God no one was hurt, both cars are drivable and for me, it wasn't my fault although I felt and feel so sorry for him. He was so scared. Turned 16 6 months ago and this made his third accident.. first one he totaled the car. So I imagine he will lose his license on this one... sigh.

I think maybe the accident made me melt down or something because the mood has not been the best this week, but I made it anyway with the prayers and help from a few friends. Thanks guys!!! The weekend is going to be a good one.. I am going to make it so! Plus I am taking a few days off next week to just sit and do nothing.. maybe finish all those books I started.....

I love you all bunches. Have a wonderful, safe weekend and until next time, be blessed!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I am sure many of you do not know who Keith "Guru" Elam is. He was a founding member of the rap group Gang Starr and yesterday at the age of 43, he died after a long bout with cancer. It was really sad and although I am not a hard core rap fan, I do love the music though, it made me real sad because one, he was so young and also because he had a child. But it also made me sad when I read the letter he wrote on his death bed that was to be released when he passed away. The letter was rather long and he talked about alot in it but the thing that stood out to me was the fact that he spoke about his former partner and other member of the group. Basically I assume that things were not good between them and he said in the letter that he did not want him using his name, the groups name or anything to gain any profits from. There was even a part I read from his family that said they were not allowed to see him and that only one particular friend had the authority to make decision about his medical condition and his estate.

Now I don't know what led up to all of this and I know we ALL have things going but on his death bed, to me, it sounded like he was holding some major grudges. I cannot and AM not judging him because like I said, I have no clue what went on, but Romans 12:19 says

"Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to wrath, for it is written: Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. No, if your enemy is hungry feed him."

Holding grudges means that we think God is not capable of handling the situation and that He needs help and that if we don't do something right then, it will be forgotten. But its not our business to be doing God's job. Vengeance is His and He will do as He sees fit. The only thing that holding grudges do is make Satan smile because he has us right where he wants us....thinking we are God.

I pray that things were made right when Guru passed away between him and God, I really do. And I also pray that if any of us are holding grudges (and sadly I have done that alot) that we let all the anger and pride go and let God be God.

I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed day! I get to host the 2009-2010 AHS Basketball Banquet tonight so my afternoon and night will be busy busy busy! Until next time, Lord willing....

Monday, April 19, 2010

I had a dream last night, a nightmare actually that someone was harming on of my children and I could see it but could not reach him to get him out of harms way and protect him. The dream was so real that I woke up in a panic, ran into his room, and brought him to sleep with me. I guess he kinda freaked out because I was like " COME ON, COME ON". I gave him a really big hug and kiss and told him I love him and he didn't say a word. He just took my hand in his, covered it with his other hand, and fell back asleep.

Let me tell you.. there is not much I won't do for my kids if it is within my power. Yes, I think they are a little spoiled and yes, maybe sometimes I overdo it with them, but I will be honest with you, I would literally hurt someone who would cause any harm to any one of them and it's not that I think we should go around hurting or killing people who do us wrong, but I think that in times of fear and distress, something just comes over us.

Just like I would fight for my children, we also have a God who is willing to fight for us. Just like he did for the Israelites when he parted the sea for them to protect them from the Egyptians, a people who had every intention of killing all of them. My greatest fear in the world is for anything to happen to my kids, but because of God's love, I don't have to be enslaved by those fears. All we need to do is pray and stand firm and trust in God's deliverance, and that does not mean things won't happen, I know that, but it does mean that God will be there for us through all of those times to protect and comfort us.

Although the night was long, the weekend was great. Along with my three kiddos, I had two more with me for the weekend and it was great. We had a blast! I hope you all enjoyed your weekend and hope you have a great Monday! Until next time....

Friday, April 16, 2010

How will you use your gift???

My daughter as you know loves basketball. She thinks that one day she will play in the WNBA. All I tell her is well, if that's what you want, then you need to make sure you are practicing every chance you get, make sure you listen to your coach and don't get distressed when things don't go your way on the court. I don't know if she will ever play in the WNBA, but I do know that her love for basketball can very well one day be her gift to others.

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. - Peter 4:10-11 (NIV)

God gives each one of us gifts and no two of us are the same so the ways we use those talents or gifts can be very different but reach so many lives. I know we have talked alot at church about what our " gifts" are and I know for me, I never really have an answer. Probably because it seems a little conceited to go around telling people things you are good at and its a little embarrassing. But God's gifts are priceless and for us not to seek them and use them, well it seems like a sin. And the deal is, its not like we all have the gift to preach. Not everyone is going to be a minister, not everyone can go on mission trips, not everyone can sit in nursing homes and not everyone has tons of money. Gifts I think can be anything. AND I think you can have more than one! From listening, to talking, to driving some to a doctors appointment.. anything. And no one person's gift is better than another.. all of them, if used correctly will do the same thing.. bring and give God all the glory. We just really need to be aware of our surroundings, the people who are in need and figure out the best ways to serve them.

My daughter sometimes take her little brothers outside and shoot hoops with them. I hear her telling them " no, don't stand like this, do it this way" or " if you turn your hand like this, it will go in the basket". I don't know if basketball is her gift, but the fact that she is willing to show someone else how to better themselves, well, I just think that God is working in that somehow. Helping people if at all possible is a really big deal folks. God actually told us to do it anyway and what better way than sharing our God given gifts with others.

What a wonderful, wonderful week it has been. I hope your weekend is just as beautiful. I love you all!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Stress, stress and more stress

I am an over thinker. I'll admit it. I take something that starts out really simple and by the end of it, I have made it into alot more than what it was. This leads to all types of issues, namely my mood swings. I can start out really happy in the morning and because of worry and stress, by noon, I am a basket case. I realize I have this issue, and although I try really hard to not think so much, it just happens.

I am a fixer. I don't like having problems and no answers. It's just not normal to not have to worry, at least in my head anyway. I like things peaceful and happy all the time. Cuts down on alot of mess if you ask me.

But these issues I have, and yes I know they are issues that lead to problems sometimes, are ones that I know are brought on by myself. I know that in 1 Peter he says " to cast all burdens on Him" and in Phil 4:13 (one of my favorite verses actually) it says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." So all the things that I am trying to figure out, all the things I fight hard for to fix or make right, well I know that God does expect me to use my brain and figure things out, but I know for a fact He wants me to lean on Him and not always have the answers, but let HIM do what He promised He would. God has given me (us) so many gifts,everything we have is from Him, so don't get it twisted thinking that YOU actually did something.. nope, He allowed us to have it. But He sure does not want me or any of us stressing about things we have no control over, things that we may not be able to solve. That's what He is there for. His power is limitless and if we lean and call on Him, that same power is there FOR us. Philippians 4:13.......

I would imagine that this is not really for anyone else but me today. I told my minister one day that I really don't write for anyone but me. I guess it's like a release, and today would be no different. I do love you all bunches though and Lord willing, we will talk again soon.

The weather is beautiful and according to the news, will be all this weekend... perfect for throwing out a few blessings wouldn't you say?!?!?!?

Monday, April 12, 2010

YAYYY for new friends!!!

Another wonderful weekend! It was beautiful and I got to spend some times with the kids and a few new friends. I woke up this morning and I was just in a really good mood which honestly is odd for me because I am NOT a morning person. I cooked breakfast for the kids, took them to school and came to work and I noticed just how really pretty the morning was. I love Spring time (minus the pollen of course) and I honestly cannot tell you enough how blessed I have been feeling lately.

I got to hang out with some new friends too and let me tell you, it amazes me how you meet someone you really don't know all that well and find you are more alike than a little bit. That's God. I believe that no one comes into our paths for no reason. Everything and everyone has a purpose and even if they are there for a short period of time, there are things to be learned. Being a momma of three kiddos brings ALOT of, hmmm, what's the word... challenges. There is always something going on, not always bad either, but there are times I feel like I am being pulled form one end to another and I am trying to figure out how, when, where and WHY we are even doing this and how I am suppose to manage. I told you before I sit in my room, MANY a night looking at the walls at night just to have some quiet time. But during some of these times, I have had some great and wonderful friends that I can call on to laugh, talk to or vent if need be.

God, in all His power and wisdom, has blessed me with some wonderful friends. I remember being in high school (and my daughter is like this now) having one BFF, my "bestie" as the kids call it now and that was it. As I have gotten older and a little wiser, I have learned that I have alot of besties. And God has seen fit to make those besties women (and a few men too) that want to grow in faith and wisdom, learning about each other, learning more about Him and the things we need to be doing in order to see Him one day. "By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped." Ecc. 4:12 (The Message)

I really thank God for this weekend and my new besties! I pray that God allows us to be open with other and grow our friendships that will bless each of us. Have a wonderful rest of the day and Lord willing ... we will talk again soon!

Thursday, April 8, 2010


My children always want, want, want and normally it's because they see other kids with things and they feel like that need to have it too. The little green eyed monster comes into play sometimes and it's NOT good. Now they are hardly deprived of anything, but no, I don't get them everything and they still seem to be just fine.

Jealousy is not just among children although it does seems like it. I can remember a time when I too was not content with anything I had to tell you the truth. I mean I have never been so down and out that I haven't had anything, but I have been to the point where I saw someone who had some thing I thought I wanted and got seriously mad when I could not or did not get it. I was always trying to figure out WHY God had "blessed" them and not me.

Galatians 5:26 - "Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

Jealousy is a sin, point blank, and it pretty much means we are being controlled by our own desires and the focus is clearly about us. and the more we focus on us and what WE want, the less we focus on the real deal, and that's God and His Will for our lives. Being jealous means that we are not satisfied with what God has given to us. It means sometimes that we basically try to find ways to get what others have just to say we have it. It means that we have forgotten that God promised us that He will "never leave or forsake us" and that we should be content with what we have.

I thank God that, although I still want a Ford Mustang (cherry red, convertible to be exact), I am really happy just to have a way to work and to get the kids around. I am truly grateful that God has seen fit to bless me in every single way He has. That He has allowed me to see that what I have #1 is HIS and He is only allowing me to borrow it while I am here anyway and to appreciate it and be thankful for my family and friends who are also blessed in their own ways. And not to be jealous because the one and only thing that matters anyway is that we all one day get to Heaven and see Him.. all this material stuff won't matter then anyway!!

I hope you have all had a wonderful week (like me). The weather has been really nice and I look forward to another beautiful day! Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

Monday, April 5, 2010

What a wonderful weekend. With the exception of all the pollen that was floating around in the air, it was a perfect Easter. I hope you all got to enjoy and share time with your families and remember what Easter Sunday was really all about and how blessed we are to have a God that loves us as much as He does. I found this weekend, again, that it's the simple things that make me realize how good my life here really is and no matter the issues, there is something so much better waiting on me and all of us if we truly believe and trust. I love you all bunches and I hope Monday is a good one for you! Until next time, Lord willing...