About 3 years ago I had to have surgery. It would be what doctors called minor surgery, but for me it was pretty major considering my mom died from "minor surgery". I basically panicked when I found out. I was very lucky in the fact that my primary doctor was a member of my church and the doctor doing my surgery was a friend of his who had gone to school with him. It made me feel a little better although I was still scared to death. I haven't been sick alot in my life except for that time and I really feel like God has blessed me with good health, although all my doctors now seem to "want me" to have high blood pressure or diabetes because I am what they call over weight (haha). I don't though and for that I am thankful, but I do realize that there are people who go through life daily being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I am no expert on this chapter by any means, but I am reminded through the book about Job. Job was called "blameless and upright" by God and Satan thought he could break Job by making him sick with sores and illnesses, taking everything from him. Satan actually asked permission from God to do these things and God granted him that. Seems unfair, not really right since Job did nothing to deserve it, but maybe God allows it so that His power and will can be seen and done. Honestly I just don't know, but then again, it may not be meant for me to know either. I just know that God uses everything in our lives for a purpose, for us to be able to tell a story and help someone else and although Job didn't sign up for the sickness, in the end he finally DOES get the life he signed up for. Although the suffering was bad, it was for only a brief season in his life.
Now this love thing..... as I read chapter 8, I wondered if she was looking in my mirror at night or something.. haha. And I thought about that song "looking for love in all the wrong places".. that was me. She talked about the "bucket lady" in the book. Seems that there is a book floating around out there about this and I plan on finding it, but this lady, the bucket lady thinks that the answer to her emptiness is right around the corner so she tries to fill it up every chance she gets, but never seems to get it all right. That was DEFINITELY me! Always trying to find something or someone to love cause I thought that once I did, life would be good.... well two divorces and many a friend later, I have finally (I hope) figured out that life is not about that. I can honestly say that my children love me. They may not LIKE me all the time, and although its a little irritating to wake up and my sons are at the foot of my bed, I kinda smile cause they want me around. I get excited when my teenager looks for me at her sporting events. have girlfriends who love me no matter how many rolls I have in my stomach and tell me how good I look in my new outfits and mean it!
And the best love of all is God's love.
Ephesians 3:16-19 - "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
She said in the book that it is amazing that once you allow God to fill you, something beautiful happens and she is right. I can honestly say that this past year has been great. Its a process and it sure does not happen over night and yep, I still have a long way to go, but I want to be a blessing for others.. my children, my family, friends.. I want them to see God's love through me.. that the life I signed up for!