Monday, October 10, 2011

True story:

I was suppose to go on a trip this past weekend to Savannah with some ladies form church and I really needed it. But unfortunately, I had some truck issues that cost a bit more than I bargained for and I couldn't go. I was mad, upset and irritated. I was telling Tony Friday how these things always seems to happen to me. I try to do everything in order and "right" but it never pans out the way I want it too. I have 50 million things around the house that need fixing or taken care of and I can't. My brother never returns my calls or texts,could be dead for all I know. My schedule is the same thing for me day in and day out, boring. And then, he and I have just had discussions about our relationship that are not bad, but not moving like I want them too. He started telling me the stuff I tell everyone else who gets in those "ruts" and actually I really didn't want to hear it. I think he could tell by the look on my face. But he told me anyway. He said " maybe we should try to go to the Whodini concert" but he didn't realize that the concert was the next day and this was not our pay week so that was out too. I went to bed madder than I started out and with a serious headache.

Saturday morning:

All the kids are getting ready to go with my ex husband to a picnic so at least I would get the house to myself for a while. Better than nothing I guess. 8:30 my doorbell rings and I am fussing because the ex is early picking them up. I yell for Khaaliq to go to the door and tell him just a minute. Khaaliq comes running back and said " Its Mr Ken from church. He just wanted you to know he was in the backyard." In my backyard? Why and its 8:30 on a SATURDAY morning.... So I throw on some clothes and go outside to not only Ken, but about 8 people from my church who thought I was going to be out of town in Savannah and they had come to do my yard work. Cutting grass, trimming hedges, picking up sticks and limbs... you name it. I didn't know what to think or say but I did thank God for them coming because I hadn't even thought about the yard, too much else to do. The yard was beautiful when they finished and as they left I thought to myself, THANK YOU GOD for this, but EH.......

I decided to go call and friend to see if she was up and we came up with the idea of eating breakfast at her house and watching a movie. I didn't have anything else to do, so why not. As I was talking to her, I get a text message from a mutual friend of our and it says "I have two tickets for the concert tonight, want them?" OKAY, is this a joke or what....Not only did I get his two tickets, the friend I was having breakfast with had two tickets that other people did not want so she gave them to me. Four tickets to this concert for Tony and I, plus whoever else I wanted to go with us. Alright God, MAYBE this is you or it could just be some kind of coincidence. Either way, we are going to the concert tonight. : )

I tried to text Tony while we were watching the movie to tell him what had happened that morning but he was in the hunting field so I figured he would just text me later on and sure enough about an hour later my phone goes off. The text says

" Hey, how are you, what are y'all up too?"

But it wasn't Tony, it was my brother. I kid you not. I have not spoken or heard from him in 2 or 3 weeks at least. I got chill bumps...I thought about the conversation the night before and I was like " hmmmmmm, no... can't be...."

Tony decided to go to church with me Sunday and Ken, the same guy who came to help with my yard was guest speaking... on Love. And as he was preaching, I heard him say and talk about the very same things Tony and I had discussed about our relationship that Friday night. I felt a lump in my throat because every once in a while,. Tony would squeeze my hand or give me a nudge when he said it. And at that point, I KNEW it was not coincidence at all.

I didn't pray for any of that stuff actually. It was more fussing and complaining but God, well I guess decided to show me. Tony told me last night " I will only say this once and I will leave it alone, but this weekend was an eye opener for you and for me. I couldn't have planned that, it had to be God."

And he was right. So caught up in my wants and needs. Trying to ask God for help but still had my hand on it, not giving it to him completely to deal with. So he took every thing that came out of my big mouth on Friday and make it come to pass.If people say God isn't real, they say He still doesn't answer prayers (even unspoken ones) or can't do miracles.. they are wrong and you can tell them Tony and I said so.....

I pray you all have a wonderful Monday. Until next time, Lord willing....

Thursday, October 6, 2011

So this morning I had all intentions on getting up and going to the gym. I set my alarm clock at 4:45 and was gonna be there in time for the 5:30 SPIN class. As a normal part of my morning routine, I got my phone and decided to see who was up and out on Facebook already. I know I know... kinda sad but oh well, it's what I do. So as I am scanning down, I see a friend of mine is flying in to Albany to go on a trip with some other friends this weekend, I see people posting really positive messages and scriptures and then something caught my eye. Someone who I went to high school with (he is 3 yrs younger than me) had a number of posting that implied he was not happy with his life and he was about to do something about that. We are not close friends, we didn't hang out in school, but we are FB friends and immediately I went into shock mode. I noticed that he worked with a friend of mine so I called him (at 5 this morning) and told him what was going on. Long story short, I ended up sitting outside his job waiting to see if he made it to work. He did... my friend got him to come out and talk to me and I just told him that nothing is so bad to want to leave this earth before God is ready for us too and to really pray and pray hard and I would be too!

There are so many people around us hurting right now for all kinds of reason. And even though so of those reason seem to make no sense to us, it doesn't mean that it is not hurting them inside to the point of not wanting to be here anymore. We have got to start taking time to get to know the people we associate and deal with. Step outside of our own comfort zones and be willing to do things we may not be use too. And on the flip side of that, we need to be willing to open up to people if we are having problems. God gave us friends for that reason. To be there for each other in times of need.

Please pray for James. I have no clue what all is going on in his life, but I know he is hurting and needs all the prayers we can give.

I love you all and until next time, Lord willing....

I was baptized in December of 1986. At 13, I knew "exactly what I wanted in life" (HA!) and what it was going to take for me to get it. I was gonna graduate from high school, go to law school, get married and have 2.5 kids and oh yeah, go to heaven cause I did get baptized of course.

At 28, I had lost my mind. I thought I knew what I wanted, although through all the alcohol, it was a little blurred. I did graduate from high school, but trying to get through college now with three kids and no husband seemed like a lost cause and heaven, well.... I was only 28, so I had time to think about that .... later on.

"And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They've refused for so long to deal with God that they've lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can't think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion. But that's no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you." - Ephesians 4:17-24

Giving up a way of life that you are so use too is not always easy. People throw it up in your face more times than a few and honestly, it's easier to be the person PEOPLE want you to be and alot more fun. But if we are to truly grow in Christ, the way God wants us too, we have to make a conscience effort to leave the past just where it is. Don't beat yourself up about the woulda, coulda, shoulda's and don't let anyone else do it to you. I had to let go of alot of things and people associated with my past. And honestly, that was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, but things are better now. Not perfect or without issues, but better.

Just some thoughts in my mixed up head.......

I pray you all have a great day and until next time, Lord willing.....