Monday, December 21, 2009

Through my son's eyes

So this weekend was going to be a busy one for me. Albany High is hosting the annual Christmas Basketball Tournament and since I am on the Booster Club Committee, I of course had to help. That meant getting there at 11 Sat morning and not leaving until close to midnight and this is going on until tomorrow night. So I got off Friday and started to get ready. The heating and air man was coming that day to because the hat was not working and it was gonna be COLD this weekend so I had to get that fixed. He came Friday, AFTER 5:00 PM (this is gonna be important in a second) and started to look at my unit. I was just praying he didn't say I needed a new one cause we would be in trouble then. After about 20 minutes he shows me some part that has actually burned through and said I needed a new piece. I tell him to hold on, go into my room and pull the part up on the Internet b/c I had to make sure of what he was telling me. So once I figure out maybe he knows what he is talking about I go back out and say okay, I guess I need it fixed. He looks at me (and here is where the after 5 comes into play) and says, " well all the part stores are closed for the day and I MAY be able to get it tomorrow (Sat AND the tournament) but this part is hard to find here b/c your unit is an older model. GREAT.. I almost started crying right there... its gonna be 30 degrees and now you're telling me that it may not be until Monday before its fixed...... sighhhhh.....

So he took my part and promised to call either way Saturday and let me know. My daughter who was listening, came out of her room in sweats, socks and a hoodie and said this was her night wear for the night. LOL.....That night I called my boyfriend and told him and basically broke down on the phone. So as he is trying to calm me down, reminding me of who is actually handling things and how it was gonna be okay, my sons were peeping around the corner and I heard them whispering.... So they came into the room (Tony could hear them through the phone) and Khaaliq says "Momma, what's wrong?" " Nothing Khaaliq". I don't think that he liked that answer too much and he said " Why are you crying, did somebody die?" " No son" " Are we gonna be poor now?", No son, and I couldn't help but crack a smile... I said " I am ok". So he looked at his brother and said to me " So those are happy tears?" " YEP, happy tears".. and he grabbed his brother and said " Come on, she is okay" and off they went.

Tony hearing this whole conversation, said do you realize how big that is for an 8 year old to have that on his mind, to ask those questions? I mean that's Khaaliq,. hes always like that but at the time no, I really didn't understand at all.

What I did realize after that whole incident though, is that God really is in control. I am an emotional person and not much will probably change that, but those emotions will not change the situations that I face. It is so easy to say and tell people to trust and rely on God, but to actually show it, well that is a different story and it takes true trust and faith in His promises for that. And also, my children look to me to be strong, to take care of them. If I am sitting crying like a nut, and they think things are wrong and can't be worked out, how much faith will they grow up to have??

Matthew 6:25 (Thanks Dee) - " Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear...............

God never makes promises He won't keep. We went to bed Friday night and I just prayed for them to stay warm. And surprisingly enough (well it was really no surprise) it was not as cold as they said it would be. We woke up Saturday morning and got ready for the tournament. As the day went on, I got a phone call about 3:00, it was the heating and cooling guy. He found my part so I hurried home to let him in. I honestly hated to pay for it, but I am so glad to have gotten it fixed. This morning the kids woke up complaining about it being too hot... are they ever satisfied??? hahahahaha

It was a long but good weekend for alot of reasons. I hope you all had a blessed one as well! Make today a good one and Lord willing,we will talk again soon!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I can remember going to the mall one day with my mom and dad. My daddy had this thing about taking us and then sitting in the middle of the mall, eating ice cream or drinking a soda and just talking to people. Didn't matter who, he just liked to talk. After an hour or so of shopping, my mom and I were going back to where my daddy was sitting and we noticed alot of kids and a large crowd around him. Seems that an elementary school from out of town had come to our mall for a field trip and they had sat down to eat lunch near my daddy. And Pink being Pink, struck up a conversation with the teachers. Anyway, long story short, he went over to the place that sold ice cream cones and bought the entire class ice cream cones. They took a picture of him (which I have in a box SOMEWHERE) and printed the article in their local paper. I was about 19 or 20 then and at the time, never really thought about what he had done or even cared for that matter.

Yesterday started out really good and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why I started to get in a mood. I was a thinking about my brother a lot yesterday and just figured I was worried about his safety. Actually when I went to bed last night, I still didn't know but figured it was the holiday blues or something. Got to work this morning and moved some stuff around on my desk and the calendar was staring at me. I don't mark it anymore like I use to, but the date just kind of stared me in the face. Yesterday had been 10 years since my dad passed away. I don't expect people to understand and I realize it's been a really long time and trust me, I am ALOT better than I use to be, but it still I guess is there in my head anyway, especially with Christmas coming up. BUT I take pride in knowing what a wonderful provider for his family, a good friend and a really God fearing, Christian man my daddy was. And I love that story about the ice cream and the kids and it makes me proud telling it. My daddy (and mom for that matter) raised my brother and I to really think of others and to do what we could for them even if it meant not getting what we wanted. And it wasn't a front they put on to impress or to get props. It was very important to them that we be doing the things God expected us to do all the time and that heaven was the goal we strived for. I am TRULY blessed to have had them as role models and parents!

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day... until next time, Lord willing and the creek don't rise (my daddy's FAVORITE saying!!), we will talk again!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

My kids cannot wait until Christmas. Honestly, if it was not for them, I wouldn't not even bother. They told me what they wanted (which has nothing to do with NEED let me tell you) and I got started. The tree is up and they have a few gifts under it and everyday, like clockwork, the boys go into the living room, turn the tree on and start picking up boxes, shaking each one trying to guess what they are. Funny thing is, after Christmas, they will probably play with the toys a few weeks and then forget all about them until the next Christmas rolls around.

As Christians, our gift is different. We must first look to Jesus and believe that He is God's Son. When we come to receive Jesus as our Savior and have faith and trust, we receive the gift of eternal life. And that is one gift that never gets old. I hope this holiday season, you all remember what it's really about. I know how hard it is for kids to focus when they see all the fancy lights and boxes, but take some time out to tell them about the very special gift that God gave them and that no one can take away!

I love you all, have a blessed day and be a blessing. Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

Monday, December 14, 2009

My daughter has always been "older" than she really is. An " old soul" as the old folks say. When she was born, we lived with my parents and although she went to a day care because I worked, she was always around adults who didn't " baby" her with all the goo goo, ga ga stuff. We talked to her as we would anyone else. Almost like an adult and although I have had many people tell me how I should not have done that, well it is what it is. When my mom died, my daughter at 3 yrs old could tell you exactly how it happened, and I do mean exactly. That was just Bri. As she has gotten older, I realize how I tend to still treat her like an adult, although she is definitely not there yet.

I was reading a message by Pastor Rick Warren, and he was talking about there being no shortcuts to Maturity and it hit me about Brianna. There is no way I can make things happen faster than she is ready for. Mature for her age, yes, knows alot, afraid so, but still not ready to tackle the world and the things going on it it just yet. I wonder sometimes if I am even ready for some of the things I will have to face.

Philippians 1:5-6 (Msg) - "Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

God does not expect us to grow up fast like I tend to do with my children. It's not important for us to know everything there is to know right this very moment. God wants us to grow strong in Him and in His Word, studying daily and taking it all in. That process, well it could take a lifetime, but in the end, will be well worth it. At 36, there is still so much for me to learn and trust me, everyday is a new experience for me. I use to have to know all the answers and get really mad when I didn't. Now I realize that I am not going to know everything, and it's okay. God does not have a problem with that so neither should I.

I have to literally talk to and remind myself that my almost 15 yr old is not an adult. She has a long way to go and for as much as I do not want her to have to deal with anything that I had to, in order for her to grow and mature in Christ.. well she just might have to and hopefully she will realize that God is still there routing for her the whole while. I just pray...

The weekend was wonderful, it really was! It rained pretty much the whole weekend. My heat went out (again), water pipe busted on my street, so no water unless it was boiled.. and it was still a great weekend. Hope yours was too! Until next time, Lord willing...

Friday, December 11, 2009

Show some love

So once again, I watch the news and get depressed. One day I am going to learn, but this morning they had Santa Claus from our Albany Mall on there. He said that this is the first year that he has had so many sad request from kids. They aren't really asking for cars, dolls and blocks... but he said he is hearing from the kids how the parents don't have jobs and the kids are asking that Santa send them jobs. Somehow I think that when it comes down to little children understanding what is going on in the economy... well things are not good. That got me thinking that not only do these people bot have jobs, meaning the kids will not have Christmas, but they may not have food in the house, bills are not getting paid... things are not good. And that is not in some third world country.. it's right here in Southwest Georgia!!

1 John 3:18 (NLT) - " Dear children, let us stop saying we love each other, let us really show it by our actions."

Plain and simple.... don't be it, be about it. I have no idea where each of you are in your personal or spiritual lives, but I am asking you this, if it is at all possible, find a needy family, a child, whatever and do something for them this Christmas. Christmas, I know is not about gift giving and sometimes the world gets really lost in shopping, finding sales and seeing how good a deal they can get. And if that means that this season, you spend time teaching the real meaning of Christmas, then do it! It's not about spending a bunch of money because you really don't have to. But do something for someone, let your kids see you living by what you try to teach them. That it is NOT about us, not about them, not about getting credit from the world for doing something nice, but it's about showing and spreading God's love and putting others first.

I love you all bunches and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Be blessed and be a blessing!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Last week my daughter came home a shocked me. The boys were with there daddy and she and I decided to get ice cream. As we sat in the drive thru, she drops the bomb on me.." Momma, the recruiter came to school today and I think I am going in the Army." Now my daughter knows me well and with that comment, I could see her brace herself against the door of the car. My daddy was in the Air Force, my brother is there, my sister was in the Navy and my niece is in the Navy now so military I am use too. The Army though?? Ughhhhh. So as calmly as I could I asked why. She began to tell me how the guy told her that she could go to college for free and how she would get a job she really liked, etc. Now I am fan of the military to be honest with you. Not a big fan of war, but college is not for everyone and the military is an honest living. I have had so many people (including my own brother) say do NOT LET her do that, she could die in a war, she could get hurt and the list goes on and on. To them I say this, when God is ready, He's ready and military, college, at home.. it doesn't matter. You are not going to go before He calls you home. So no, I don't have a problem with the military and if she decides that is what she wants to do with her life (although I have dreams of a college life for her) then so be it. I have raised her to be independent and make her own decisions and I support her no matter what.

Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)- " Point your kids in the right direction- when they are old, they won't be lost."

I wish there was some kind of book given to me the day I had my kids. Each day I can honestly say something new comes up and I have to try and figure it out. As Christians, the job of raising children is probably harder than anything else we face in life. Kids have so many distractions... friends, school, family...that makes raising them a challenge. But children learn from what they see and if we as Christian parents give them examples to live by, they will be fine. I have learned from my daughter that even though she tries me (MANY MANY TIMES) she is looking to me as an example. If she sees me showing love, kindness, compassion, then it will be easier for her to do it also and it will become her norm. If I do the best I can, with what I have my kids will see it.

I don't mind if my daughter makes the choice of going in the military. I have been honestly praying about it and just asking God to be with her and help her make clear decisions as she starts to plan what she wants to do with her life.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, until next time Lord willing..

Monday, December 7, 2009

We complain alot.. ever notice that? If it's not one thing, it's another and most of the time it's about things that we cannot change anyway. We complain about work, our bosses, the kids not doing what we want them to, didn't get the raise we wanted, clothes didn't fit this morning, we complain about rules and regulations (I hear that alot from my kids). Some of us, and I say US because I am included in the bunch too, are really good at complaining too, but how good are we at listening and obeying God's Word?

The Bible says though, if I am not in the Father's Word, then I am not obeying, and therefore not trusting Him. There have been many times I have trusted things around me before I ever even thought about calling God's name. And of course, it never worked out. We all get consumed and lately I find my consumption has alot to do with my children. Basketball practice and games take up alot of my time and that is not a bad thing at all. The problem comes in when I get so busy and "forget" that I have not spoken to God or picked up my Bible.

Juts the other day, I was talking to my daughter about her grades and basketball and I tried to explain to her that although she loves basketball, if the grades are not there, then basketball goes away. It's about what's really important and what should come first. The same with God. God knows everything that I "have" to do and I seriously doubt that if I take time out to study like I am suppose to, that He would allow me to slack in other areas in my life. Honestly, it seems when I DO my studying and talking is when I have time for everything, with a little to spare. So I guess what if boils downs to is what's more important to you and me. Take time out today (and everyday) for God.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, it was beautiful!! Lord willing, we will talk again soon

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Had a conversation yesterday (I have alot of those) and you know, it amazes me how people try to change themselves to make others happy or to fit the world around them. I can remember being in high school. I was not the popular girl, not one the guys were chasing after, I was pretty quiet, I had my few friends and that was about it. I can remember wanting so badly to be like them. Of course then, I was too afraid to even try. As I got older and a little more confident, I would see people who I thought had what I wanted and try to " do what they did" to make them like me or to fit in some group. It didn't take long to realize that going that way was not for me. It wasn't comfortable, I didn't like it and to be honest, the people were not ones that I am proud to say I was hanging around.

I think as I look at my own children, it's hard for them to actually have there own identity because so much is going on around them, especially at the high school as I am learning. That is why even now, more than ever I am trying to teach the kids that you know what? It's okay to be you. It's okay to say yo do not want to participate in things that may get you in trouble or things God would not approve of. Not that every day is great for them, but we are working on it.

As children of God, we have an identity also and it is important for us to embrace this identity and see ourselves through Jesus' eyes. We are Children of God, He's our friend, we were all chosen before the world was created, we are forgiven, we are all given the promise of the Holy Spirit, we belong to God. The list could go on and on. This list though is NOT the one of the world though. God could care less if we lose weight, if our hair is done each week, if this person or that person wants to be our friend. He just wants us to be true to ourselves and to Him. Once we give ourselves to God, the old ways are to be done and we are to have the renewed mind it speaks of in Ephesians 4:21-32.

I hope you all have had a wonderful week so far. It's been really good. I love you and Lord willing we will talk again soon!