Through my son's eyes

So this weekend was going to be a busy one for me. Albany High is hosting the annual Christmas Basketball Tournament and since I am on the Booster Club Committee, I of course had to help. That meant getting there at 11 Sat morning and not leaving until close to midnight and this is going on until tomorrow night. So I got off Friday and started to get ready. The heating and air man was coming that day to because the hat was not working and it was gonna be COLD this weekend so I had to get that fixed. He came Friday, AFTER 5:00 PM (this is gonna be important in a second) and started to look at my unit. I was just praying he didn't say I needed a new one cause we would be in trouble then. After about 20 minutes he shows me some part that has actually burned through and said I needed a new piece. I tell him to hold on, go into my room and pull the part up on the Internet b/c I had to make sure of what he was telling me. So once I figure out maybe he knows what he is talking about I go back out and say okay, I guess I need it fixed. He looks at me (and here is where the after 5 comes into play) and says, " well all the part stores are closed for the day and I MAY be able to get it tomorrow (Sat AND the tournament) but this part is hard to find here b/c your unit is an older model. GREAT.. I almost started crying right there... its gonna be 30 degrees and now you're telling me that it may not be until Monday before its fixed...... sighhhhh.....

So he took my part and promised to call either way Saturday and let me know. My daughter who was listening, came out of her room in sweats, socks and a hoodie and said this was her night wear for the night. LOL.....That night I called my boyfriend and told him and basically broke down on the phone. So as he is trying to calm me down, reminding me of who is actually handling things and how it was gonna be okay, my sons were peeping around the corner and I heard them whispering.... So they came into the room (Tony could hear them through the phone) and Khaaliq says "Momma, what's wrong?" " Nothing Khaaliq". I don't think that he liked that answer too much and he said " Why are you crying, did somebody die?" " No son" " Are we gonna be poor now?", No son, and I couldn't help but crack a smile... I said " I am ok". So he looked at his brother and said to me " So those are happy tears?" " YEP, happy tears".. and he grabbed his brother and said " Come on, she is okay" and off they went.

Tony hearing this whole conversation, said do you realize how big that is for an 8 year old to have that on his mind, to ask those questions? I mean that's Khaaliq,. hes always like that but at the time no, I really didn't understand at all.

What I did realize after that whole incident though, is that God really is in control. I am an emotional person and not much will probably change that, but those emotions will not change the situations that I face. It is so easy to say and tell people to trust and rely on God, but to actually show it, well that is a different story and it takes true trust and faith in His promises for that. And also, my children look to me to be strong, to take care of them. If I am sitting crying like a nut, and they think things are wrong and can't be worked out, how much faith will they grow up to have??

Matthew 6:25 (Thanks Dee) - " Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear...............

God never makes promises He won't keep. We went to bed Friday night and I just prayed for them to stay warm. And surprisingly enough (well it was really no surprise) it was not as cold as they said it would be. We woke up Saturday morning and got ready for the tournament. As the day went on, I got a phone call about 3:00, it was the heating and cooling guy. He found my part so I hurried home to let him in. I honestly hated to pay for it, but I am so glad to have gotten it fixed. This morning the kids woke up complaining about it being too hot... are they ever satisfied??? hahahahaha

It was a long but good weekend for alot of reasons. I hope you all had a blessed one as well! Make today a good one and Lord willing,we will talk again soon!

I can remember going to the mall one day with my mom and dad. My daddy had this thing about taking us and then sitting in the middle of the mall, eating ice cream or drinking a soda and just talking to people. Didn't matter who, he just liked to talk. After an hour or so of shopping, my mom and I were going back to where my daddy was sitting and we noticed alot of kids and a large crowd around him. Seems that an elementary school from out of town had come to our mall for a field trip and they had sat down to eat lunch near my daddy. And Pink being Pink, struck up a conversation with the teachers. Anyway, long story short, he went over to the place that sold ice cream cones and bought the entire class ice cream cones. They took a picture of him (which I have in a box SOMEWHERE) and printed the article in their local paper. I was about 19 or 20 then and at the time, never really thought about what he had done or even cared for that matter.

Yesterday started out really good and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why I started to get in a mood. I was a thinking about my brother a lot yesterday and just figured I was worried about his safety. Actually when I went to bed last night, I still didn't know but figured it was the holiday blues or something. Got to work this morning and moved some stuff around on my desk and the calendar was staring at me. I don't mark it anymore like I use to, but the date just kind of stared me in the face. Yesterday had been 10 years since my dad passed away. I don't expect people to understand and I realize it's been a really long time and trust me, I am ALOT better than I use to be, but it still I guess is there in my head anyway, especially with Christmas coming up. BUT I take pride in knowing what a wonderful provider for his family, a good friend and a really God fearing, Christian man my daddy was. And I love that story about the ice cream and the kids and it makes me proud telling it. My daddy (and mom for that matter) raised my brother and I to really think of others and to do what we could for them even if it meant not getting what we wanted. And it wasn't a front they put on to impress or to get props. It was very important to them that we be doing the things God expected us to do all the time and that heaven was the goal we strived for. I am TRULY blessed to have had them as role models and parents!

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day... until next time, Lord willing and the creek don't rise (my daddy's FAVORITE saying!!), we will talk again!

My kids cannot wait until Christmas. Honestly, if it was not for them, I wouldn't not even bother. They told me what they wanted (which has nothing to do with NEED let me tell you) and I got started. The tree is up and they have a few gifts under it and everyday, like clockwork, the boys go into the living room, turn the tree on and start picking up boxes, shaking each one trying to guess what they are. Funny thing is, after Christmas, they will probably play with the toys a few weeks and then forget all about them until the next Christmas rolls around.

As Christians, our gift is different. We must first look to Jesus and believe that He is God's Son. When we come to receive Jesus as our Savior and have faith and trust, we receive the gift of eternal life. And that is one gift that never gets old. I hope this holiday season, you all remember what it's really about. I know how hard it is for kids to focus when they see all the fancy lights and boxes, but take some time out to tell them about the very special gift that God gave them and that no one can take away!

I love you all, have a blessed day and be a blessing. Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

My daughter has always been "older" than she really is. An " old soul" as the old folks say. When she was born, we lived with my parents and although she went to a day care because I worked, she was always around adults who didn't " baby" her with all the goo goo, ga ga stuff. We talked to her as we would anyone else. Almost like an adult and although I have had many people tell me how I should not have done that, well it is what it is. When my mom died, my daughter at 3 yrs old could tell you exactly how it happened, and I do mean exactly. That was just Bri. As she has gotten older, I realize how I tend to still treat her like an adult, although she is definitely not there yet.

I was reading a message by Pastor Rick Warren, and he was talking about there being no shortcuts to Maturity and it hit me about Brianna. There is no way I can make things happen faster than she is ready for. Mature for her age, yes, knows alot, afraid so, but still not ready to tackle the world and the things going on it it just yet. I wonder sometimes if I am even ready for some of the things I will have to face.

Philippians 1:5-6 (Msg) - "Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

God does not expect us to grow up fast like I tend to do with my children. It's not important for us to know everything there is to know right this very moment. God wants us to grow strong in Him and in His Word, studying daily and taking it all in. That process, well it could take a lifetime, but in the end, will be well worth it. At 36, there is still so much for me to learn and trust me, everyday is a new experience for me. I use to have to know all the answers and get really mad when I didn't. Now I realize that I am not going to know everything, and it's okay. God does not have a problem with that so neither should I.

I have to literally talk to and remind myself that my almost 15 yr old is not an adult. She has a long way to go and for as much as I do not want her to have to deal with anything that I had to, in order for her to grow and mature in Christ.. well she just might have to and hopefully she will realize that God is still there routing for her the whole while. I just pray...

The weekend was wonderful, it really was! It rained pretty much the whole weekend. My heat went out (again), water pipe busted on my street, so no water unless it was boiled.. and it was still a great weekend. Hope yours was too! Until next time, Lord willing...

Show some love

So once again, I watch the news and get depressed. One day I am going to learn, but this morning they had Santa Claus from our Albany Mall on there. He said that this is the first year that he has had so many sad request from kids. They aren't really asking for cars, dolls and blocks... but he said he is hearing from the kids how the parents don't have jobs and the kids are asking that Santa send them jobs. Somehow I think that when it comes down to little children understanding what is going on in the economy... well things are not good. That got me thinking that not only do these people bot have jobs, meaning the kids will not have Christmas, but they may not have food in the house, bills are not getting paid... things are not good. And that is not in some third world country.. it's right here in Southwest Georgia!!

1 John 3:18 (NLT) - " Dear children, let us stop saying we love each other, let us really show it by our actions."

Plain and simple.... don't be it, be about it. I have no idea where each of you are in your personal or spiritual lives, but I am asking you this, if it is at all possible, find a needy family, a child, whatever and do something for them this Christmas. Christmas, I know is not about gift giving and sometimes the world gets really lost in shopping, finding sales and seeing how good a deal they can get. And if that means that this season, you spend time teaching the real meaning of Christmas, then do it! It's not about spending a bunch of money because you really don't have to. But do something for someone, let your kids see you living by what you try to teach them. That it is NOT about us, not about them, not about getting credit from the world for doing something nice, but it's about showing and spreading God's love and putting others first.

I love you all bunches and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Be blessed and be a blessing!!

Last week my daughter came home a shocked me. The boys were with there daddy and she and I decided to get ice cream. As we sat in the drive thru, she drops the bomb on me.." Momma, the recruiter came to school today and I think I am going in the Army." Now my daughter knows me well and with that comment, I could see her brace herself against the door of the car. My daddy was in the Air Force, my brother is there, my sister was in the Navy and my niece is in the Navy now so military I am use too. The Army though?? Ughhhhh. So as calmly as I could I asked why. She began to tell me how the guy told her that she could go to college for free and how she would get a job she really liked, etc. Now I am fan of the military to be honest with you. Not a big fan of war, but college is not for everyone and the military is an honest living. I have had so many people (including my own brother) say do NOT LET her do that, she could die in a war, she could get hurt and the list goes on and on. To them I say this, when God is ready, He's ready and military, college, at home.. it doesn't matter. You are not going to go before He calls you home. So no, I don't have a problem with the military and if she decides that is what she wants to do with her life (although I have dreams of a college life for her) then so be it. I have raised her to be independent and make her own decisions and I support her no matter what.

Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)- " Point your kids in the right direction- when they are old, they won't be lost."

I wish there was some kind of book given to me the day I had my kids. Each day I can honestly say something new comes up and I have to try and figure it out. As Christians, the job of raising children is probably harder than anything else we face in life. Kids have so many distractions... friends, school, family...that makes raising them a challenge. But children learn from what they see and if we as Christian parents give them examples to live by, they will be fine. I have learned from my daughter that even though she tries me (MANY MANY TIMES) she is looking to me as an example. If she sees me showing love, kindness, compassion, then it will be easier for her to do it also and it will become her norm. If I do the best I can, with what I have my kids will see it.

I don't mind if my daughter makes the choice of going in the military. I have been honestly praying about it and just asking God to be with her and help her make clear decisions as she starts to plan what she wants to do with her life.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, until next time Lord willing..

We complain alot.. ever notice that? If it's not one thing, it's another and most of the time it's about things that we cannot change anyway. We complain about work, our bosses, the kids not doing what we want them to, didn't get the raise we wanted, clothes didn't fit this morning, we complain about rules and regulations (I hear that alot from my kids). Some of us, and I say US because I am included in the bunch too, are really good at complaining too, but how good are we at listening and obeying God's Word?

The Bible says though, if I am not in the Father's Word, then I am not obeying, and therefore not trusting Him. There have been many times I have trusted things around me before I ever even thought about calling God's name. And of course, it never worked out. We all get consumed and lately I find my consumption has alot to do with my children. Basketball practice and games take up alot of my time and that is not a bad thing at all. The problem comes in when I get so busy and "forget" that I have not spoken to God or picked up my Bible.

Juts the other day, I was talking to my daughter about her grades and basketball and I tried to explain to her that although she loves basketball, if the grades are not there, then basketball goes away. It's about what's really important and what should come first. The same with God. God knows everything that I "have" to do and I seriously doubt that if I take time out to study like I am suppose to, that He would allow me to slack in other areas in my life. Honestly, it seems when I DO my studying and talking is when I have time for everything, with a little to spare. So I guess what if boils downs to is what's more important to you and me. Take time out today (and everyday) for God.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, it was beautiful!! Lord willing, we will talk again soon

Had a conversation yesterday (I have alot of those) and you know, it amazes me how people try to change themselves to make others happy or to fit the world around them. I can remember being in high school. I was not the popular girl, not one the guys were chasing after, I was pretty quiet, I had my few friends and that was about it. I can remember wanting so badly to be like them. Of course then, I was too afraid to even try. As I got older and a little more confident, I would see people who I thought had what I wanted and try to " do what they did" to make them like me or to fit in some group. It didn't take long to realize that going that way was not for me. It wasn't comfortable, I didn't like it and to be honest, the people were not ones that I am proud to say I was hanging around.

I think as I look at my own children, it's hard for them to actually have there own identity because so much is going on around them, especially at the high school as I am learning. That is why even now, more than ever I am trying to teach the kids that you know what? It's okay to be you. It's okay to say yo do not want to participate in things that may get you in trouble or things God would not approve of. Not that every day is great for them, but we are working on it.

As children of God, we have an identity also and it is important for us to embrace this identity and see ourselves through Jesus' eyes. We are Children of God, He's our friend, we were all chosen before the world was created, we are forgiven, we are all given the promise of the Holy Spirit, we belong to God. The list could go on and on. This list though is NOT the one of the world though. God could care less if we lose weight, if our hair is done each week, if this person or that person wants to be our friend. He just wants us to be true to ourselves and to Him. Once we give ourselves to God, the old ways are to be done and we are to have the renewed mind it speaks of in Ephesians 4:21-32.

I hope you all have had a wonderful week so far. It's been really good. I love you and Lord willing we will talk again soon!

Are you ready to just let Him handle it?

I think that for me, the biggest thing I want anyone to know and the thing I try to tell myself every time I am dealing with an issue is, God is the one who can fix it. It seems to me that once we finally realize that there is NO issue to big for God, we will be much better off. I told someone the other day that it amazes me that there are so many people in the world that have problems, that think that calling a friend or family member will fix it all and God is the only one who hears our cries and is the only one who knows what to do and how to do it. Not only that, He can hear all of us, ALL at the same time. I have a hard time listening to my three children at once, but not only can HE and does He listen, He helps us all. All we have to do is be willing to share with Him. I mean you might as well, it's not like He doesn't know anyway. Who are we trying to hide from???? I know for me, at one point in my life, I almost felt like I was actually "hiding" from God and HE couldn't see me so I was ok. Funny how your mind works when you do wrong.

Psalms 62:1 - " My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

I spent some time this past weekend with a really good friend. We are as different as night and day, but those differences make us bond very well and she confided in me some things that have been going on. Now I have said this over and over, I DO NOT profess to know all or ANY answers to situations that come up, but I just try to use what has happened to me to show people that things can and do change. So as she talked to me, I could hear the pain, almost feel it. She had come to a point in her life where although she grew up in church, knows the verses and songs, have heard them all her life, still can't figure out why things are happening like they are. Why she is not getting what she KNOWS is a good thing, and it really is. My comment to her was " are you REALLY talking to God"? I know its been a long time, but are you really talking and waiting for him to answer? Not in YOUR time, because it's never in our time, but in His. I really believe that God allows us to make our own decisions. I mean isn't that why we tend to get in trouble most of the time, doing things OUR way? But when we totally and fully say " God I am giving this to you and I am going to let you handle it however you see fit" and leave it alone, is when we can start to see His plan unfold right before our eyes. I really believe that, I have seen it in my own life. Our 10 or 15 years of pain and suffering in "our" time seems really long, but I don't think God works on that kind of time line.

There is nothing man can tell me, good or bad, that I know God can't go back and change. He sees, and hears and all He is waiting for is us to come to Him openly and honestly asking for help when we need it. He's all you need and as it says in Psalms 62 your soul should find rest in God alone.

This is my all time favorite song we sing in church!! Really!! Every time we sing it I get chills!! In it it says.... "when the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are king over the flood. I will be still and know you are God." That's what we need to do.. KNOW He is God and no matter what happens, no matter what you think will happen, just chill and talk to Him. He can handle any and EVERYTHING you throw at Him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2swjpTUiPk&feature=related


I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

My gray hair

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained by a righteous life" ~ Proverbs 16:31

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted gray hair. Not a strand here and there, but like salt and pepper hair and all of my friends thought I was crazy. But I an remember seeing the African American women with that beautiful hair and loving it. When I hit about 26, I saw my first gray hair and about freaked. I mean I wanted it but not one LONG strand right in the front so hence the coloring started. Since then I have done all kinds of things with my hair, from color, to cutting, to letting it get longer, to going natural, to going back to a relaxer and color last week. Now at 36, I have MORE gray, not completely salt and pepper but the color definitely does not take on the gray...lol

And although the gray hair WILL come with age, alot of other things will to I hope. Knowledge and wisdom for one. Not that I didn't realize how important God was in my life, the older I get though, I realize that God and heaven are way more attractive than anything the world can offer. The older I get, through all the hair dyes, the knowledge I gain in Christ is worth every single gray hair to make me the woman God wants me to be!

I hope you all have a blessed Monday. Love you and until next time, Lord willing....

Thank you!

I love Facebook. It's my way to stay connected to my friends and family that I do not get to see very often. What amazes me about Facebook is how free people are with their words and thoughts and I mean that in a good way. I can remember being in high school and not remember a person talk about God. I mean we all went to Church, that was a given, but to actually talk to someone about God, give advice about it.. well it was almost unheard of. Fast forward almost 20 years and you have Facebook. And it's wonderful. I think every one of my classmates (and family) encourage each other every day. Last night for me was no exception.

I have been in a mood lately, a funk if you will. The holidays are coming up, there are alot of things on my mind surrounding that and just alot of other personal things I am dealing with. and some of it are things that are probably just in my head more so than anything else, but none the less, they are there. I have been praying really hard the last few weeks that whatever it is, God take it away and deal with it. But last night, it got a bit overwhelming and you know how it's those times that no one seems to be around... well I decided to take it to FB... yep, put my business out there and once again my friends and classmates came to my rescue.

See, I know that in times of trouble and need that I can pick up my Bible and God has given me all the things I need to get through anything. Philippians 4:6-8, 2 Corinthians 4:7-10, and Psalm 46:10... I know all I have to do is be still and listen. Know that God is God and He does just what He says He will do, but last night I had to hear it. Physically hear it and God sent that through the form of my friends. I love you all very much, you have no clue what that meant to me and although I had stress last night, some caused by my own mind, some caused by other things, I actually got through last night with no tears.

Pam says all the time, be blessed and BE a blessing... you were definitely mine!

Until next time Lord willing, be safe, show love and compassion and never think the small things don't matter... they really do!

Can I just say

I'm in love .. ain't it grand!! : )

Shaniya Davis

It broke my heart when they announced on the news that the little 5 yr old girl, Shaniya Davis was found dead. To see those precious pictures flash on the news and to think someone had done harm to her, well, I just couldn't imagine. I had seen her father on TV when they realized she was missing and I saw and heard the pain in him. He wanted his little girl back. And then the announcement.... they found her and her mom was in jail for selling her for sex. Even now, it still brings tears to my eyes.

Then this morning, as they were talking about it, her dad, visibly broken up said " This is not how I wanted it to end, but she is with God now and He has bigger plans." All I could do was cry. There is no way I can imagine losing my children, especially that way and then to say what he said. As Christians, that is what we are SUPPOSE to do, but sometimes, honestly it is easier said than done for us.

Jeremiah 29:11 says " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a future."

I don't know why that baby had to suffer like that and Lord knows I hate she had to, but God doesn't lie and we have to believe that there is a reason, there are plans for her family. I don't know what her family believed, but I really believe that Shaniya is with God. No pain, no suffering. Be praying for her family though, her father AND her mother.

I really hope you all have a good day and as bad as this situation is, be reminded that a long life is promised to anyone. We take that for granted sometimes that when we send our children to school, we go to work, that we will all come back to see another day. Do the things you need to do in the moments you have.

I love you all, have a blessed day and Lord willing, we will talk again soon.

So, we have started a new series in church..leadership, and last night we talked about leadership and helping others. I really believe that are lives are to be about just that, finding the needs of others and making sure that if there is anything we can do to help, that we do it. I also know how hard that can be. I mean we see people on the street corners and we are afraid to stop and do something because we never know what they will do right? You don't want to give them money because you don't know how they will spend it. You really don't know them all that well, and why should you stick your nose in their business?

Last night Greg asked us what keeps us from helping others and those were a few of the reasons along with something else I said... people can be draining and take advantage and after all, no one likes to be taken advantage of. Then someone said something that got me thinking..." Jesus didn't say " help one another UNTIL they take advantage of you". He said to help one another. She went on to explain that if we are doing things with the right motives, with the right heart and with nothing on our minds but pleasing God, then the being taken advantage of, the worrying about what if they don't spend the money right, the fear of helping and getting hurt in the process will not be an issue because I really doubt God would ask us to do anything that he knows would harm us. He would be right there with us.

But I also contend this notion. It's not just the people on the streets and the ones you physically notice that need help. There are people closer than you think. They may live next to you, work with you or even attend the same church you do. See it may or may not be about money all of the time. Help comes in all forms and its up to us and Christians to really get to know the people around you. Find out if there are any needs that you may be missing and DO something. Thanks to my daughter, there are some things now that the two of us are able to do and it makes me proud that she is paying attention even when I don't sometimes!

With the holidays coming, I really think now especially time to kinda look around and see what we can do. The economy is not good, people are being laid off left and right and there are alot of people who may want nothing more than for someone just to listen. Make it a goal to really seek and find that person. Pray about it and let God show you what needs to be done.

James 4:17 " Anyone, then who knows the good he ought to be doing and doesn't do it, sins"

What else is there to say?

Happy Birthday Momma!!!

November 12, 1946 in New York City, NY, my momma was born. That would make today her birthday. You know, every year around this time, I start to feel " funny" and I never really figure it out until that day pretty much but I miss her lots. There are pretty much no days that go by that I don't think about her in some way. From the way I cook, the way I raise my children to just looking in the mirror since everyone thinks we were twins or something. lol I even still have times when I ask God " Why" or " Could you not have waited just a little longer" and you know what, I think that's okay, He doesn't mind too much... at least I pray not. But as sad as I get about missing my mom, I can smile a big smile knowing she died doing the things God wanted her to do. That I have no doubt about because I saw it every day of my life. And because she did believe that Jesus was Christ and he died to save this world, I believe John 3:15-16:

" For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that who ever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life in heaven."

I don't know God's thoughts, His complete plan or what really happens after death, but I believe with all of my heart that my mom is with God and I'm going to see her again one day! I love you momma, Happy Birthday!!!!! MUAHHHH!!!!


And to Melanie... once again as I always tell you, you share a really special day with her too! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!

Jessica, I always forget... one day before or after but I know its your day too HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I miss you!!

As always, have a blessed day everyone and Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

I don't have alot and most of the time I am whining about what I think I need, but if I actually sat down and stopped being so selfish, I would realize that God as given me so much in my life. Not as much as some but definitely way more than others and I should be thankful. I am truly blessed.

We always say that too don't we.... " God is going to bless you for this or that" and as true as that is, God will bless you, I think we are expected to be a blessing to others as well. My friend Pam normally puts that on her Facebook page each day (be blessed and be a blessing) and I like that.

The Lord has done so much for all of us, the greatest being that He gave His mercy in that he died for sinners like us. He allowed us to be apart of the great things He has done in this world and we should not be trying to keep it all for ourselves. I don't think that is what He intended. He expects is to share those things with the world around us, with the people we come in contact with in our lives. God gives to us lovingly and freely so that we can freely an lovingly give to others. Make it a daily goal to share that with others.

Luke 12:48 "But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (NIV)

I hope you all have wonderful day! Lord willing, we will talk again soon

Worry

It doesn't take much for me to stress out. I worry about everything and I think all the time. I mean about everything... things I need to do, things I should be doing, how I can change things and things I have no control over.The other day in my e-mail I got a devotional from The Purpose Driven Life and it was entitled " Why Worry" and immediately caught my attention.

In it, Rick Warren said that there really is no need to worry. Its unreasonable, it's unnatural, it's unhelpful and It's unnecessary. as I read it I thought to myself, " that may be, but seems like I cannot stop doing it". But as I kept going something stood out. He said when you were little and you asked you dad for lunch money, you never gave it a second thought about where the money would come from, that was your dad's problem, not yours. So why not apply that same reasoning with God. Sounds simple and as humans, we again tend to think we can handle everything that pops up in our lives. Well I do anyway. But trusting in God and really believing what Matthew 6 says:

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of the wildflowers- most of which are never seen, Don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do His best for you? What I am trying to do her is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way He works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how He works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.Don't worry about missing out. You'll find that all your human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the times comes". (MSG)

will help us all deal with any problems that Satan tries to throw at us.

This has been a long week. I have had ups and downs all week long and its all because of stress and things I cannot change. So I decided to make a conscience effort to just pray about it, tell God what the deal is and see what happens. I know that by doing His will, if something is not right, He will reveal it to me. So for now, I just sit and wait.

It's Friday and I hope and pray you all have a wonderful, blessed weekend. I think its gonna be really nice here! Lord willing, we will talk again on Monday..

Some days are just kinda BLAH......

I often wonder what triggers my emotions. One minute I am fine, life is good, nothing but positive going on and nothing can stop me. But then, a few hours later, today for example, I get the blahs. There is no rhyme or reason for any of it. No one has done anything to me, all really is well in my little world. But the feelings, emotions, mood swings come. Crazy I am not.. let me just put that out there from jump cause I know how people tend to think things, I am just " thinking out loud" to try and figure this out.

Maybe it's the holidays coming up. I mean Halloween was a few days ago and Christmas music and scents are filling the air. Suppose to be a happy time but sometimes I get a little blah during that time of year. Thank God for the kids, or I would be a total scrooge!

Maybe its the whole taking care of kids alone thing. Do not get me wrong at all.. I Love my babies. They are the reason I get up in the morning and do what I do and that's the God's honest truth. But I get tired. I run from the time I get up until after the practices are over and then its home for homework and dinner with bed soon to follow for them. They keep me on my toes with the activities, the wittiness, the laughs... but yeah, I get worn out.

I miss my parents alot. You know, no matter what I had done (good or bad) I could just go and say " this is what happened" and they would fix it. Not fix it in the sense that everything was automatically alright, but in the sense that they talked to me, helped me think things out, and just made me feel better. I look and listen at people today who say things like how their parents make them mad, or they wish this and that. All I can say is I WISH mine were here to do any of those things. I hate that they missed so many things. Missed physically anyway. The grand kids being born, me finally finishing school, alot of things. There was just a real calming feeling I got talking to them. I knew when they spoke, things were going to be okay, no matter how upset I was,. And even if it didn't go the way I wanted, it was still ok. I miss them alot!

Sometimes I sit at my desk at work and look out my window. There is this huge oak tree outside and a park on the other side of that. During the spring, I get to see the birds do their thing, building nests, bringing food in... and fall, like now, the leaves are really pretty. Not a whole bunch of birds, but I like how the leaves and limbs move with the wind when we have it. I am all about calm and peace ( if you haven't figured that out by now).. and I can drift for a minute when I look out there.

I love my job. actually I haven't ever had a job I hated, even when I worked at Wal-Mart after high school. But now, I really feel like God placed me here for a reason. Some of those reason I see everyday, I know exactly why He did it. My job is not hard, but it has to be right in order for things to flow well. I do them ok.. I hope so anyway. The people are nice, they put up with me after all. Some days I can be a real prick.. mornings especially. I have this thing about mornings and coffee and not talking to me too early. Yeah, I know, you don't have to tell me, but it is what it is. But I love them for putting up with me and understanding things that not many employers would. My kids and I am REALLY lucky to have them.

My church.. I mean what can I say about my church family. I love them, I love them, I love them! I think when God decided He needed my parents in heaven, He sent me to Westwood so that I wouldn't feel as alone and have family that would step in whenever I needed them too. Now don't get me wrong, we are not perfect. We don't profess to be, but I can honestly say that everyone there is really about God's business. It's not about us, it's about what they(we) can do to serve others. There was a point in my life when I wasn't so sure about them.. I will admit that to you and most of them know it too. But I will have to thank my kids for this one... when I didn't feel like getting out of bed, when I had partied too much and 9:30 came WAY to early for me, or when I just didn't feel like going.. they always MADE me go. YEP, my kids made me, the adult go to church and participate and until the day I see my mom and dad again, I will never hank them enough. See, its not the building, its the people in it and my kids saw that. They saw love and true friendship and they wanted me to see it too. Took me a minute or maybe two.. but I finally got it and I plan on keeping it a long time!

Then I have these friends. Well I use to have lots and lots of friends, but I learned the hard way that not everyone that calls you friend really is and they actually mean more harm than good so some relationships had to end. That was okay though b/c through that, I found the ones that will stick closer to me than a brother. You know, the ones that tell me just how it is, don't let me get away with CRAP and love me even more?!? That's them! They know me, the real me that not alot of people know or even want to know. And they accept me, flaws and all. All I can say is keep it up cause you know me and my moods.. ever changing like the wind.

Then there is my boyfriend. Even saying that makes me smile the biggest smile ever. God totally blessed me with loving parents, wonderful children, a great job and a loving church and Then after all of that, I get this man in my life, finally, who understands and accepts me, knows that everyday is not going to be perfect, he really cares about my children and their well being, he can tell me to STOP and calm down and say it in loving way because he cares about me, but, and I really honestly know this, feel this and see this... he loves God. Like I have never had that and he knows that everything is in time in God's plan no matter how much my kinda OCD self wants to rush. He is my level head when mine is not so level. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thanking God for him. I have no doubt in my mind that with everything I have been through and done, God was preparing me for him and I love you so very much!

Hmmmm..... I started writing this with a really blah feeling. Knowing it was nothing but Satan playing with me and trying to get me all flustered, but as always for me, writing stuff down, no matter how confusing it sounds to all of you, ends up being something totally different. I imagine I will have blah days, we all will, but realizing the things I have in my life that make those BLAH days a little better.. actually alot better. God is good, I really don't give Him enough of me ya know. For everything I have, I need to be thanking Him every second of the day. There, I have that sense of calm again.. I like it here.

Thanks for letting me vent, share, talk....

Yesterday I got an e-mail from a really good friend and it said " If you knew you would never see or hear from me again, what would you tell me today'?

My first initial response was WOW, what a question and how do you answer that? But I replied and I started to think, what would the world be like if we really DID tell people what we wanted to say to them without hesitation. What would the world be like if we all got positive encouragement from each other daily, what would God's family be like? I think we sometimes think saying things like that can get kinda mushy or even that we have all the time in the world to say what we need to. But as Matthew 24 says: "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." We need to spend our time encouraging one another, building each other up and stop tearing each other down.

Nothing long and drawn out today, just " If you knew you would not see your friends and loved ones anymore, what would you tell them? How would you encourage them? And what exactly are you waiting on??

Love and blessings to all!

There was a time in my life when I thought that talking to God was pointless. My attitude was VERY negative and basically I got tired of talking and nothing I asked for was being answered. Maybe more than anything else, it was fear. The negative thinking had caused me to think I COULDN'T do anything anyway so praying was useless... so I didn't do it.

Not sure at what point it all changed, and alot of things happened in between all of this, but I realized that I was looking and thinking all wrong. I was hoping my prayers would be answered instead of having the confidence in God to believe what He said and trust in Him. James 5 says the "prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective." And you know what, the things we ask for will not happen overnight. That was the hardest for me to understand and learn. But look at Elijah.. he prayed for rain for over three years, and it didn't rain. He never quit, never stopped believing, never gave up on the fact that God does what he said He will do. He prayed and God sent rain.

Another hard thing I had to learn was that sometimes my prayers WERE being answered, just not in the way I would like them to be. See, we are told to ask, have faith the size of a mustard seed and we can move mountains, but if it's not in accordance with God's Will, you can hang it up. God is not going to give us anything in our lives that will not uplift us and bring glory to Him. When our desires do line up with His Will, we will understand why some things are just not meant to be for us. When we pray passionately and purposefully, according to God's will, God responds powerfully. Always!

God is there, waiting on us. He wants us to come to Him not only when we have problems, but when we have good things to tell Him too. Alot of times, and I have been very guilty of this, when good stuff happens, I get in my head that I was the one who made it happen. I mean after all, I was the one who did this or that right? But who was the one who allowed that to happen?

So pray with confidence, knowing that God hears your prayer, that he loves you and wants nothing but for you to be with Him forever and that He will answer. Tell Him the good, bad and ugly. No need in trying to hide it anyway, He already knows! He may answer right away or it may take years, who knows but I am positive it will be in a way that will grow you and grow your walk with Him.

I love you all bunches. Have a wonderful day and Lord willing, we will talk again tomorrow : )

My sons came home the other day in a panic. It seems that their cousins had gotten them all upset about the fact that they had seems "things" happen in their homes. They explained to my boys that chairs had moved by themselves, they had seen "ghosts" fly by windows and how they heard things at night. They explained to the boys that demons were there and at night, they come out to get them. That led to the boys asking alot of questions and in the end, sleeping with me that night. I explained the best I could, because I do in fact believe that there are evil things in this world. I don't necessarily think maybe the same way as other people may, but yes, I do believe there are demons. I talked to Greg (my minister) and asked would he talk to the boys for me and kinda explain and of course he said he would. He said he would tell them about Ephesians 6.... how no matter what is going on in the world, the way to fight Satan is putting on the armor of God that would protect you against anything that could possibly happen.

Yesterday was a very... not bad, but hard day. It seems that the armor he told me about Thurs morning, I needed to put on myself by Thursday night. I have said it before, I will say it again, Satan is very real and very much alive and if he sees you having an issue with one thing, he brings the rest of it on to pull you farther down than you were to start with. But as much as Satan is real, so is God and as the day went on, I just prayed for some type of calm. See, I am a person who really believes in signs. I mean I ask God point blank.." Ok if this is it, then show me. If its not, send me a sign." I don't know that He actually does it or if its just my mind making it happen, but I would really like to believe God is answering me to help me. So yesterday like usual, that is what I did. I just said, I need a sense of calm, I need to know that this is going to be okay and I would appreciate it if you would let me know today.

Hmmm, I got that last night. I was reminded that even when I feel like I am overwhelmed, like things are not going to work out, God's phone line is always open. There is no reason for me to go to sleep with a heavy heart, when I can just lay it all at his feet and leave it there knowing that he will take care of it as He sees fit. The feeling or sense of being alone is not the case. I think as humans we get really caught up (at least I do anyway) in the physical, the things we can see and feel and forget the one thing that can ease any pain we may ever have. I went to sleep knowing that it was going to be okay.. it may not be easy, and it wont happen overnight, but it really will be okay. I got up this morning singing " Oh no you never let go, through the calm and through the storm....." and I knew it would be ok.

Again with my ramblings..lol. I tell you, if I ever wrote everything I was thinking.. WOW.. lol. Thanks for listening. Until next time, Lord willing..

My daughter wants to be a lawyer/WNBA basketball star. My middle child wants to be an artist and the baby, well, he has alot of things he wants to do. I believe that with a whole lot of work and putting their minds to it, my children can do and be anything they want to. They have the right, the God given right to make those choices that affect their lives. My children have dreams, but I also think God has plans for them too that may or may not include the things they have in mind. We are all called to be like Christ, and as many "great" things as we may do in our lives that impress people here, God may not be as impressed if it is not His plan we are following.

It took me just about all my life, but I finally realize God has a specific purpose for me as He does for everyone. It wasn't something that just hit me, I haven't always known and honestly, I am not completely sure I still understand it all, but I know its there. God didn't knock me over the head, there were no neon signs.. actually it wasn't until I started asking sincerely that I started hearing what it was He was trying to tell me. And it wasn't in my timing, it was all in His. I am an impatient person, I make no bones about that and waiting is not something I like, still don't. But in order for God's plan to work like He wanted, I had to be ready. What good would it have done if my mind and heart were not the right place? I also had to realize (and we all do) that if God chose me to do something, then it's gonna be done right. He is not going to give you something He didn't think you could handle. Perfect example.. Paul. Who would have ever thought that a man who persecuted Christians would be one of the greatest teachers of the gospel of all times??

Romans 8:28 - We know that in all things God works for the good of those that love Him who have been called according to His purpose.

If we trust in God, He will direct our paths and the purpose will become clearer, but remembering that our first and foremost purpose is to love God with all our hearts and to do the things that please Him.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and Lord willing, we will talk again soon.

Can't be nothing but God!

I have always had an explanation for pretty much everything that has happened in my life. The good and the bad, there has always been a reason. For the most part, it was something that I had done to cause something so I knew exactly why. For the past few months, there have been some things happening and I have no explanation for them. Someone actually asked me about it one day, and I tried to explain and for the first time in a long time, I fumbled through words and thoughts, trying to make it make sense from my point of view and I couldn't and she looked at me and said " Can't be nothing but God, how else would you not be able to explain it." At first I was like well, that doesn't really make sense to me, but hmmmm I am not so sure now.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV).

I have said this before, but let me say it again and hear me well, I am not perfect, I don't have all the answers nor do I think I know everything. What I DO know is what has gone on in my own personal life and how things have flopped or progressed, and let me tell you I have been praying more this past year than I have in my entire life. I have been trying my very best to be open with God, not like He doesn't know anyway, but He expects me to come to Him with the good and bad and I have. I have tried my best to turn things over to Him and not do it myself and I think, no I know He is listening and starting to move in ways I thought would never happen. Don't get me wrong now, everything is not perfect now, there is still ALOT of room to improve and do better, I don't have everything I want, but I realize that I have what I need and God is taking care of me as only He can.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12-13 NIV)." "Then you will... " When? "When we get selfishness and self-will out of the way; when we want NOTHING but God's will, when we seek him with our whole heart. Then we will find him, then we will call upon him and he will answer." When we seek God with our whole hearts, there is nothing or no one that can stop God's plan from working in our lives. I am truly blessed!

This past Sunday at my church was our Operation Serve. That is where we have a short morning service and then we split up into groups going to different places (Rescue Mission, shelters, etc.) and help any way we can. This year one of those places happened to be my house. There was a group that came and trimmed hedges, cleaned my roof, fixed things that I had no clue how to do...and I want to say THANK YOU! You will never know how much I appreciate that. The house looks great and I love you all very much!!!

Until next time, Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

It's been a very long week, not bad, just long. All I could think about was Friday at 1:00pm so I could just go home and basically just sit and do nothing. Seems like everyday after work, there is something to do: basketball practice, homework for the kids, cooking, cleaning, washing... my list could go on and on. And I think after a while as my grandma always tells me, I start to wear down. This week would be one of those. Well Thursday I had a meeting to go to after work and honestly, I did NOT want to go (sorry ladies!!). It was a JWCA meeting and we were having a kick off dinner for the Lights of Love at Phoebe. Now as good a cause as this is, I was just tired and my mind was not really in it, but I prepared to go anyway.

I had to stop by the store to pick up a bag of candy, the whole time telling myself I really wished I was home but that I would go anyway. As I got out of the car, I caught one of the most beautiful sights I had seen: there was a huge cloud in the sky. It wasn't round, it was more oblong and had ripples in it. On the each end of the cloud was an opening, a hole if you will and coming out, on each side was a rainbow that went straight down to the ground. It was absolutely beautiful and the people around me going in and out of the store didn't even seem to notice. I text my friend Paige because she takes pictures and I was sure she didn't want to miss this. I stood there for at least 5 minutes I know looking at the sight, wishing I had a camera of my own right then. I went into the store, got my things and went to my meeting feeling alot better.

When I got to the meeting, I talked to friends, had dinner and began to listen to the woman that would be the official tree lighter for the 2009 Lights of Love ceremony, Mrs. Linda Gray. Mrs. Gray has ovarian cancer and basically she was told she would not be alive today at the stage she was when she found out. They were wrong. As she talked, I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. I was again reminded last night that it was not about me. I get so consumed in my little world that I forget there are so many more people out there with bigger problems and situations. I left last night with Mrs. Gray on my mind and prayed that God once again perform a miracle as I know He still can!

I hope you all have a blessed weekend. My daughter and the rest of the teen girls from my church are going a conference this weekend. Please pray for their safe travels! Until next time, Lord willing..

To God be the Glory!!

My daughter plays 3 sports, but honestly, if it was not for her, I would never go to a game. I am just really not into sports that much, but something caught my attention this morning on the news. This past week, a player in Fitzgerald, GA, R.J., caught a touchdown pass in the end zone and when he did, he didn't jump up and down and do the crazy dances we see on TV, he didn't hoop and holler and act the fool, he simply stood perfectly still, and pointed one finger up to the heavens.... giving glory and honor to God for allowing him to catch that pass. The refs threw a penalty flag.

After this, seems they lost 15 yards or something like that (I don;t understand the language) and everyone from Fitzgerald was upset. They said on the news, if you knew R.J. you would know how much he loves God and would never be disrespectful. I am not sure what the rule books say, I do know they cannot act crazy when they get touchdowns, but the boy, a young adult, was giving glory to God and honestly, that brings a smile to my face. Offering support for what R.J. did, and rightly so I think, the whole town basically now wears " To God be the Glory" t-shirts ( that seems to be a hot item also now for EVERYONE around AND outside the town) at every game.

Over and over again in the Bible, there are verses talking about giving God the glory:

Listen! Do not be proud, for the Lord has spoken. Give glory to the Lord your God before it is too late . . .” Jeremiah 13:15-17.

Give glory to God by telling the truth, because we know Jesus is a sinner’”John 9:24.

“‘Fear God,’ he shouted, ‘Give glory to him [God] . . .’” Revelation 14:6-7.


There is no reason to be ashamed of God or letting people know we love Him. I think maybe sometimes we think people will look at us strange, call us names, or won't want to be around us. But this young man, well he should make us all proud. In sports, I have seen for myself, in my child's own games, where they makes points or score and they work hard at practice and think its all them. They think THEY are the ones who makes them able to do what they do. This young man KNOWS why he can do what he does and he was not ashamed to say it. WAY TO GO R.J.!! We should all take a note from you!!

I love you all, have a blessed day and Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

What causes fights and quarrels among you?

Saturday I had a disageement with someone really close to me. I really didn't even think of it as a disagreement until I got home and did my ususal, "start to think thing". And honestly, it was something that could have been avoided, but wasn't. I am not perfect, never profess to be and one of flaws (and I have lots) is the issue of having my way. I didn't grow up like that, but I guess as I got older and things started to happen in my adult life, I got this really hard shell that didn't want to let anyone in, had no intention of doing what anyone else said cause I had put up with that long enough, and I just had to have my way. That also probably came because I am a single mom with three children and I basically make any and all decision in my house.

But last night after I got home, I knew that the attitude, the wanting my way, could possibly make me lose something that I love very much. So last night I prayed really hard before I went to bed. Now again, for those who know me, I don't do the formal prayers. NOTHING is wrong with those mind you, but for me, I have to talk to God like He is the friend sitting right beside me on the patio.

I prayed that the feelings I was having would go away, that I would be humbled and that I started thinking about someone else other than myself at that moment. Then I went to sleep... a very peaceful one I might add.This morning I woke up, my mind was clear, and honestly I didn't have a thought or comment to post on facebook other than to think that I would go to church very open minded and be looking for what God wanted me to. I found it. I still say God has a really good sense of humor because as I sat in my Sunday School class, I had this inner smile and I thought..."alright, I hear you, I hear you and I will do it."

This morning in my class we talked about James 4: 1-10

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." (1-3)

Hit me like a ton of bricks. See, the dsagreement WAS because of things inside me. I wanted my way, no if's, and's or but' s about it and if I didn't get it, the attitude was coming whether the person realized it or not. And I really don't think they did, but what it was doing inside of me was just as bad. Then someone made a comment about verse 5 - " Or do you thihink Scripture says without reason that the spirirt he caused to live in us envies intensely.?"

Now, I am no Bible scholar and there is alot I do not understand, and it took me a minute to get this until someone said " a perfect example would be a husband and wife. If one spouse is paying more attention to something, it has all their attention, then the other spouse would become jealous. God is like that too. He doesnt want anything coming before Him". Now, I try really hard not to put things before God, but sometimes I think things happen and we don't think anything about it until its done. Again, me. But every single negative feeling, emotion, reaction that happens from us, comes from IN us and its only when we choose to stop or not let the negative feelings control us, that we start to get stuff right.

And verse 6, maybe the one that will stick with me the most " God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Our teacher this morning said humility is about our relationships with each other and choosing to put ourselves last over them. He also said that this is really hard to do with familar relatioinship i.e. -family type situations. This is where it all kinda came together for me and I apologize if none of this makes sense to you, but it's just kinda how I write : )...

It's not about me. Never has been and until I get in my head that it really IS JOY (Jesus, other and then yourself last), that the world as I know it, will make sense. Things will fall into place, I won't have to stress or worry because it did say " Come near to God and he will come near to you."


All that being said, there is nothing left but to say I am sorry (and hope they accept that) and keep reminding myself that it is not all about me. Until next time...Love and blessing!!

Hi ladies (and gents)! It has been raining for the past few days and not too many people are happy about it, but me, I LOVE it. Not too crazy about the power going out and kids crying. but the rain.....love it!!

Day before yesterday, my ex husband called me at work and all he said was " I was in an accident, I need you to come." My heart immediately began racing as I asked where he was, grabbed my purse and hurried out the door. I don't even think I told anyone where I was going. It was raining that day too and I just thought, " this is no good". As I approached the street, I saw 3 police cars, a school bus and people standing around but I didn't see him. I prayed the hardest prayer I have prayed in weeks!! I jumped out of the car only to hear a police officer tell me that I could not come up closer but I told him that my children's dad had called me because he was in an accident. He told me to go on... I walked around the bus to see him standing talking to a few people. WHEW!! It seems as though the bus driver got distracted with the kids and made a turn that was not wide enough and she pretty much demolished the front end of his car, but he was OK.

As he finished the report, I took him where he needed to go and went back to work, relieved. Relieved that my sons still had their dad, if only for one more day. Relieved that God had protected him. I also realized something else.. no matter how much we disagree (and at times that's alot), we both want the best for our sons and at times, we still need each other.

And I am not tooting my own horn, but sometimes we have to help those we don't like, the ones that always give us grief no matter what. Because remember " Not everyone who says Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven". As hard as it is sometimes, we have to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and figure out how it would feel. So be a blessing to someone today and everyday! I'm pretty happy my ex thought enough to call me when he needed help.

I hope you all have a great weekend. I get to spend mine with my four special people!! I love you all and until next time, Lord willing.... and remember

TGIF!!! (Today God is First!)

TGIF !!!!!!

I am a Facebook junkie and Monday, a friend of mine had 'TGIF' on her update. I thought, how odd.. today is Monday and she is already talking about TGIF but under her update, she said" Today God is First'. Kinda makes TGIF more meaningful to me now!

We tend to put so many more things ahead of God in our daily lives. There is work, which I do believe is important. After all God does say, if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat, I think we should try to be successful in our work and do the best we can, but it should never take the place of God. Some people want a "day of rest" on Sunday so they can relax and get ready for the next week, and I do not think God wants us NOT resting and having fun, but there is a time and place for everything and pleasure should not be the main thing we focus on. And as much as my family is important to me, they do not and should not come before God. God expects us to take care of our families, but God should always come first.. the rest then falls into place.

Matthew 6:31-36 "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

God tells us in Matthew to seek Him first and everything else will be add to us. He tells us right here that if we serve Him, He will make sure we have everything we need. Even as I read this, I wonder about all the people in the world who are having such a hard time right now, God's own children and honestly, I have no answer. I wish I did, but I DO know God is a God of His word and if He says it, I believe it. And in order to put God's kingdom first, we need to be a part of it. We must believe that Christ came and shed blood for us. We need to make sure we are reading and learning the way God wants us to live everyday and serve Him through your church as the faithful loving servant He expects us to be.

TGIF, today and everyday make God first.

This past Saturday I attended the funeral of a high school classmate of mine,Rickey Massey. I really had all kinds of mixed emotions when I got there. I saw classmates who I haven't seen in a very long time. Memories and emotions flooded each one of us at the thought of the life that we had just lost. I can remember being 18 and someone from the school newspaper asking me where I would be in 20 years and of course I gave the normal answer " Married, children, working for a really big newspaper in Boston, Ma." I can remember the football players, this friend who passed included, wanting to go to a really big name school and play in the NFL one day.

As I sat in the sports complex, I watched a mother cry as would soon bury her son, a 12 year old son cry as he would not know what it is like to watch his father one day see him play football, and former classmates, myself included, cry as we buried a friend, 18 years after we graduated from high school.

I wrote this one day last week, but nothing is promised to us. I think it is really good to have goals, like the ones we had the day we graduated from high school, but we also need to think.... we ave to really live each day like its our last. Nothing is promised to anyone of us.

As people got up to speak, one lady said something that maybe some of us have thought, but it really hit home with me. She told Rickey's mom a story that had happened just a few weeks before his death. Rickey had been at her home working on some papers that she was helping with and he mentioned that he had no money to purchase something he needed. As she looked around the sports complex at everyone sitting there, she said " its really sad that Rickey seemingly by the amount of people in this room had so many friends while he is laid in this box, but while he was alive he couldn't find one person to gave him a dollar. There was no reason he should have needed anything with this many friends." She finished her story and I thought to myself how right she was, her point was well made and taken.

God expects us to check on each other. He expects us to help in any way we can, to show love for our brothers and sisters. I am as guilty as the next, but is there really a reason there should be so many homeless, people in need of food, people not being able to keep the lights on in their homes?? I realize that we can't help everyone and there are alot of people who might take advantage of someone's kindness.. but honestly, is that for us to decide? We are to just do what we know is right and let God handle the rest. I have no automatic answers on how to handle that, or what would make it better.. I just know God commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.... it is one of the greatest commands.

For us to be even reading this, we have already been blessed. Now it's time to be a blessing for someone else today. Doesn't mean you have to spend alot of money, not even alot of time, but just be willing to put someone else above you. Make it not about you.

I am asking again, that you please pray for Rickey's family. If you have never experienced death of someone close... right now, things are as "ok" as they can be with people all around his mother and son. But as the weeks go on, the people leave and things get quiet, that's when they will need prayers the most. Pray for God's strength and comfort as they face many difficult days ahead.

I hope you all have a great week. I love you all very much and Lord willing,we will talk again soon

It has been a really long week already. My computer is still not working at home so not much writing going on there, the weather is doing something funny, and I have a sick child. This past weekend I learned that one of my high school classmates had passed away. Once again, I started to do alot of thinking and talking with other classmates about this and how we really don't stop to think that one day, our time will come too and will we be ready.

Death, for me, is not a favorite topic . My prayer has always been that God allow me to be here until my children are all grown up and can take care of themselves. Now, that doesn't mean I want to go soon after, but I guess I always wanted to just make sure they were okay. But honestly, it could happen today, or tomorrow or next week and as morbid as it may be to some, and as much as we hate talking about it, we need to make sure that every minute of our lives, in all aspects, are minutes we use to serve God and please Him.

By no means do I think we need to consume ourselves with thinking about death every minute of the day, but God does say " There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die..." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2. The minute we are born, we begin to die. Question is " What are we going to do with the short time we have here on Earth"? When my parents passed away, I was a mess, but after a few years of counseling, some time and alot of praying, I know the lives they lived and I have no doubt as to where they are right now. That makes me want even more to make sure that I am living the way God would have me to so that one day I can see them again. Death is not the end, it can be a new beginning.

I am praying for the family of Ricky Massey, my DCHS Class of '91 friend. I know that right now it is really hard and there are alot of questions that may never get answered, but know that God knows best and nothing He does is in vain.

I hope I have not depressed you too much, but honestly, what if today WAS your last day... what would you do with it?

I love you all bunches and maybe AT&T will find it in their hearts to send my new power cord so I can be hooked up to the world again.. : ) Until next time, Lord willing....

My sons are very close. They are each other's best friend. They do everything together and I do mean everything!! A few weeks ago, Christian got to go home with one of his friends at church to spend the day with him. When I said yes, I had no idea what I was in store for at home. As I got in the car, Khaaliq's first question was " where is Christian?" This was NOT going to be good. " He went home with Mason" and the look I got... well, I just decided to look away. Brianna on the other hand was really happy about this for some reason, go figure. So as we were going home, I decided to get lunch for us and maybe Khaaliq would feel better. We got home, ate lunch and I decided to take a nap.. amazing how one child missing from the equation makes the house a little less noisy. Brianna was content, talking and texting away but Khaaliq..well, he wasn't feeling the JOY Brianna was. He was missing his other half and my nap turned into him coming in my room EVERY 10 minutes asking was it time to go back to church and get Christian. He was pretty happy when we got to life group to find his brother had not left him for good.

Last night at church, Matt asked us to write down some things that we knew for sure about God, that didn't change no matter what. There were alot of things mentioned, but the one that was in my mind was that He is always there, no matter what is going on, no matter if you decided you want His help or not, no matter if you and I have a problem at the same time... He is there ready and willing to help us.

I think about the movie Bruce Almighty... where everyone was praying and Bruce, who decided he wanted to be god, could hear all the prayers... at one time! The computer was keeping track of them and they were coming in so fast, he couldn't keep up. I remember being young, and thinking God must have like a million eyes and arms (which I wasn't sure I actually WANTED to see Him at that point) to keep up with us all at the same time! But our God is omnipresent.. He is everywhere all the time and he will never leave us alone. That comforts me every night when I think I can't go on, when I think I can't take one more day... God covers me with His love and let's me know it is all going to be okay.

I hope you all have a great day. Hasn't it been beautiful this week?!? I'm telling you, try sitting outside one night this week and just listening. It will do wonders for you! Lord willing, we will talk again soon....

Philippians 4:8

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Last night on Facebook (my favorite website), a friend posted this Bible verse. You know how I told you yesterday that when something happens, God has a way of giving you an answer...well this once again was mine. It was beautiful last night, so I decided to grab the laptop, a blanket and do some writing on the patio. The sky was so clear as it was getting darker outside and I laid the laptop aside and just started talking. I am a really big fan of talking to God outside, it calms me down for the most part, but as I was talking, I got this overwhelming sense of dread. I mean literally, my stomach started hurting and I wasn't really sure why. There have been so many good things happening to me lately, one in particular and at that very moment, I felt like it was all going to be taken away and I had no clue as to why.

Maybe it is the fact that sometimes I don't think I am deserving of good things in my life, maybe it's that for so long I was use to Satan having his way with me and that was all I knew and "good" just didn't make sense in my life. I don't know but I looked down at the computer and saw the FB page was still up and it said one new post. I clicked on it and it said " Philippians 4:6-8".

I remembered the verse very well and I just started crying.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

I told this same friend earlier today that I trust God, but sometimes I don't "trust" Him. Does that make sense? I know He is God but I like to HELP OUT if I can in my situations because after all I know me well right???? But He doesn't need my help and God doesn't want me (us) stressing about things that are out of our control. He wants us to trust Him and lay it all on Him, no matter what it is. He is really interested in what we think, say and feel. He's our dad, and what child's dad wants them to hurt?

So as I sat there, my talk changed. I just told God, "it's on you now, I am done cause this worrying will kill me for sure if I keep on. Whatever you think best, that's what it will be." And then my phone rang...... it was perfect timing as usual on God's part and he knew exactly what I needed, even though I wasn't quite sure myself, and he gave it to me. The night was good.

I pray that you all have a wonderful day and try not let the worries of life get to you. I know how hard that can be, trust me, but I know God is listening to you (and me) so just talk to Him. Doesn't have to be formal (I rarely do formal). Just talk to Him like you would your best friend, because that's what He is anyway. Tell Him what you want .. you may not get it exactly how you would like, but knowing Him like I am starting to, it will be much better!

Have a blessed day and Lord willing, we will talk again soon! Love ya!

P.S. - CONGRATS VALERIE on the new grand baby!!! Can't wait to see pictures!!

Restoring relationships

Last week a friend an I had a disagreement.. one that was pretty much based on what we "thought" some e-mails "sounded" like. You know what I mean.. you send and e-mail and the person on the other end THINKS you mean one thing, but you really meant something else?? Those! And that's what happened, and let me tell you something about me that I work on, that is probably not gonna go away anytime soon, and is pretty much just me.... if I feel pushed, confronted or something like that, my first instinct is to push back. Not something I am proud of, it really is something I work on, but it is what it is. But as the e-mails got to the point where something was said about being and acting Christian, it pretty much stopped me in my tracks and I decided it was enough. So I got on the phone and called.. figured it was better to say exactly what each other meant than to keep going back and forth. I by no means am perfect and I think we all want our opinions and voices heard and honestly, want to be right, but when your Christian life is being called into question by your actions.. well, like I said, I decided it was time to talk. The conversation went well and talking it out made a whole lot more sense than what we started out doing... it ended ok. I think the relationships we build inside the church help set the tone for what we do in the world around us. People see how we interact with each other and as good or bad as that may be, it effects how they view the church and whether or not they want to be a part of it. When people see or hear us disagree, they watch us. I mean really, who wants to be a part of something where there is discord? We are not always going to get along, but as Christians we are commanded to go to each other if we have a problem. After we discuss it, we may still not agree, but because we are God's children and we strive to be like Him, we do what we need to do about it and its done.

When I got home that night, I had this e-mail from the Purpose Driven Life website: http://www.purposedriven.com/article.do?method=articlePage&contentId=201923&trkid=ddnews

And once again, all I could do was smile because I knew God was talking to me yet again. Perfect I am not, opinionated..well, yeah that would be me. But I know God is still working on me, I get confirmation every day and believe me, I listen!

Today I have to have an MRI for some possible surgery soon. I will find out the end of this week for sure. I would appreciate a few prayers cause you know me and surgery : ) I hope you all have a great day and Lord willing, we will talk again soon!

Deeper Still - Session Two

Ephesians 3: 20-21 - "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen"

I think this is my new favorite Bible verse and I will always remember when Priscilla said " God goes BEYOND beyond."

Priscilla Shirer is an awesome speaker and the verse above, she took word by word and broke it down. Funny how we can just read some thing and not really understand what it means. We serve a God who is just ABLE. With everything that is going on now, it is time for us to start considering everything God has told us. In the midst of any and every thing going on, when things seems impossible, God is the only one able to do something right now with just one word. I think sometimes we look at the President on TV and always want to say something, good or bad and talk about how he isn't doing this or that...well, maybe he's not the one we need to be relying on. Yes, he is the leader of our country, but even he doesn't know everything and won't get it all right. Like him or not, we need to be praying that God give our President the wisdom and knowledge to lead our country down the right path.

No matter where we are now, it is time to turn to God. We tend to concentrate on our problems rather than on the one who is able to FIX our problems. We need to fix our eyes on Christ and give it all over to Him. There is no situation that we can control no matter how much we think we have it all together. We will start to live and have an abundant life when we can praise God in the midst of any problem we have going on.

Everything God tells us is true. I cannot think of one place in the Bible that I have to question. I may not like everything I read and normally that's because it's something I have done and don't want to get called on it, but its true and God keeps His word. And when God tells us something, it is our business to know that He can do it, but it is HIS business to choose to do it. Not everything we ask of God will happen. God, in His wisdom, knows the plan and how it is suppose to work, and just because He does not answer us when we would like, does not mean God does not have the power.. God IS the power and is able to do anything.... for you! I think it is hard for some of us to realize that some things just ARE, but I do think like the verse says, all things work together for good to those who love the Lord. God is working to build His kingdom and he loves us.

OK.. this is the part I love..... she said... God is able to do exceedingly beyond our beyond!! Think about it. When we think we can't walk another mile, we can't handle one more late bill, one more upset from someone we love who hurt us, one more problem, God has our backs and He can keep going when we can't. I think that's gonna be my new saying thanks to Priscilla... God goes beyond, beyond!!

All we have to do is ask for the things we need. The verse above says so. Anything we ask or IMAGINE to ask (imagine now, think about that!), He can, if He chooses to, do something. God cares about everything that is going on in our lives, even the little things. If it concerns you, it concerns God. God sees us, He hears us, He cares and He can do just what we need Him to do.

Like I said and have said before, not everything we ask for, we are going to get. God knows better than we do about the things we need but we can't keep God boxed in. We can't call on Him when we think we are unable to handle things but when we want to try to control the situation (which we can't) we do it on our own. Doesn't work that way. God is predictable in His character, but sooo unpredictable in His activity. We don't know if He will always answer us like we want, but be sure that the answer we get is one that will be in our best interest.

Two little verses, so many wonderful ideas and thoughts! The conference was great!

God goes beyond beyond.

I hope you all have a great day. Lord willing, we will talk again soon! Love ya!

Deeper Still... Session One

" I really don't have time to get my Bible studying in. I have so much going on... ball practices, work, cleaning the house, homework with the kids, grocery shopping... just so much going on, there is not enough time in my day to sit down and study anything from God's word"....



Ever said any of those things before? I sure have. I always found/find and excuse as to why I can't sit down for 30 minutes and study God's Word. And although those things are very true and I do have alot going on, what is gong to happen on the day of judgement when God Himself asks me the same question " Why didn't you take the time to study my Word"? Are you going to tell Him about your ball practices and work schedule? We make time for everything BUT God....



I never thought about it like that until Kay Arthur, one of the speakers at the Deeper Still conference ask that question. It really made me think. How will we ever get deeper into God's Word without commitment to studying and applying the messages we read? As I listened to Kay tell her story of marriage, depression, falling away from God, doing what she wanted when she wanted, trying to find what she thought was love and then comingto realize that God had always been there waiting on her to come back... I listened to her and if she had inserted my name in there, it would have been ALMOST identical.


When we live without faith,we walk in destructive ways. Nothing really matters to us, we kind of do things at the drop of a dime and just hope it works out for us. God is never brought into that equations. She spoke of a relationship that she was involved in after her separation from her husband. It wasn't good and as she spoke I got chills thinking of how this relationship sounded like one that I myself had been involved in. As she told her story of how for a really long time she was in it but finally realized that it was going no where good, she decided to call it off. One day as she was in her apartment, the phone rang and it was him and at that point she had to decide what she wanted to do. Let Satan take hold and drag her back down the path or walk in faith, the kind of faith that says" Ok God, I trust you and I know you want what best for me and I am giving it all to you".... she chose the latter and has never looked back.


Hebrews 11: 6 - "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him".

If we want to go Deeper Still, we have to keep out eyes on Jesus and pay attention to what God has said through the examples He has given us through Christ. There are so many things happening in America today. You can't turn the news on without seeing something negative. In the time in which we are living, we as Americans are being and are going to be tested. As Kay said" God is going to shake what can be shaken and then things can be seen for what they really are." Are we ready? Are we ready to stand up for what we believe in even if it means we get stares, or ridiculed or even persecuted? The only way we can be fully ready is to take time to read and study God word. We have to be able to stand up to the enemy wearing the full armor of God and know that He is going to do for us just what He promised and long as we believe and have faith. Seems rather simple to me... it amazes me though how often and how much I forget that.


The conference was the best thing that I have been to in a very long time and I still have more I want to share this week. My mind is so full of information, I hope I don't get it all mixed up! I left there with another sense of peace, calm.. something that a few years ago I didn't even know could ever exist in my life.


I hope you all have a blessed day! And tomorrow, Lord willing.. I can tell you about Priscilla Shirer.. AWESOME speaker!!! Until then....I love you all!

Deeper Still Conference

This past weekend I got a chance to go to Orlando, Fl and attend the Deeper Still conference with Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer and Kay Arthur and it was great!! It's one of those things that I wanted to go to, but then decided I had alot to do so maybe I shouldn't go, but now I am so glad I did go!! From start to finish, I learned way more than I had anticipated. Once I get all my notes and thoughts together (tonight) I plan on telling you all about it!!

I hope you all had a great weekend and have a great day today. I love you all and Lord willing, we will talk again tomorrow!

You know, there have been times in my life where I have felt I had lost everything: every dream I had, All my hope that things would get better, I thought nothing would get better, that God wasn't listening to me when I prayed, that my life was OVER! And at that point I honestly didn't think I wanted to go on. Lately, God has started placing people in mt life who were just like me. And its not people that I personally know all the time either, but they are coming. and honestly, I am excited about that but it also scares me a little. By no means am I am expert on anything or any topic but the words are just coming out of my mouth and I know that can only be God.

I know we all have days when things are just not going right and we just want to give up, but listen, we have got to keep on truckin! As Christians, it is our job to help each other keep going too... we have to cheer each other on so that we don't give up or in. You may have to yell and scream it sometimes because I know I have a thick head sometimes and don't like to listen, but God expects us to not give up on each other. When you say your prayers today and this holiday weekend, pray God send someone for you to encourage and for you to show that God is really on there side!

I hope you all have a great SAFE holiday weekend. I know alot of you are traveling, so be careful!!! My baby's birthday is tomorrow.. he will be 8... and let me tell you, I remember the day I had him and they handed him to me.. all I could do was cry.. I'll probably be doing the same thing tomorrow.. LOL

Love you all and Lord willing, we will talk again Tuesday!

Yep, prayer again! :)

So we finished our lessons at church Sunday on Prayer and I have to agree w/ what Greg said. I think this is the first series we have done that has gotten so much feed back. Not sure if its because so many people started taking prayer seriously and started to actually see change or what, all I know is it was good! During that series, I was surfing the Internet and came across this quote that is now the signature on my e-mails:

"God has editing rights over our prayers. He will... edit them, correct them, bring them in line with His will and then hand them back to us to be resubmitted.” ~ Stephen Crotts

And when I read it, I was like yep, that's about right. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed, and some of them have been really good, and I think I even had good intentions, and God was like " Nope, but how about this" and took me in a whole other direction. I was not happy, I admit that. I mean I KNOW how my life should go, what makes me tick and what makes my world go round. How dare He wanna change it up on me like that right?? Doesn't he want me happy?

But you know, God gives us answers, maybe not in the way we want them, but we get them.

Does God answer prayers:

Yep - He sure does. In the Bible it says plain as day, ask and it will be given to you. Sounds simple huh, but I think that if it lines up with what God wants and His plan, then of course, if we ask with the right heart and motives, its gonna happen.

Does God answer prayers:

No- We can't always get what we want. I tell my kids that all the time. God is so big and all knowing, and maybe our prayers are not in line with what He wants and guess what... there may be and probably is something bigger and better waiting on us if we just trust in Him.

Does God answer prayers:

Maybe, but not right now- Okay, this might be the hardest one for me. I don't like waiting but maybe the prayer request is in line, but just not right now. God is not ready for us to have what is it we want. Maybe its to test our faith and trust.. I don't know but I do know that when He is ready, it will happen.


I Thessalonians 5:16-18 - 'Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.' Things are not always going to go like we want. It seems for some reason, now in our nation, things are getting really bad. I think maybe its God's way of saying.. Alright, here I am, I'm waiting on you all to come to me and talk to me, you can fix this if you want. But we get so caught up in the fact that we DON'T have and not look at what we do. I have a friend who lost her job yesterday. Company layoffs, she wasn't the only one and I told her that I would be looking out for her and praying. She said.. thank you and she knew God was working on something better for her and this was His way of showing her that.

Isn't that the attitude we all need? Even through something like that, still having enough faith and trust in the One who can do all things. I ask that you all still pray for my friend and also pray for the good stuff. We are all awake this morning, have eaten breakfast, jobs to go to, cars to drive, bills paid.. we may not have all we want, but we sure have more than most.

I love you all bunches and Lord willing we will talk again soon!

Yesterday my church had a picnic at Webb Park. We do this every so often and it's a chance for us to come together, be relaxed, talk and just have a good time. I will be honest.. yesterday I prayed for rain. It's not that I don't like the park, I just like it better when it's cold outside.. no bugs then. And I mean I REALLY did pray for rain.. I told someone I must have started too late cause it didn't start raining until we had already cooked on the grill and began eating. By then, EVERYONE was piled under the little shed, eating.. we were a CLOSE family yesterday. But that was alright, it was fun, it really was.

Galatians 6: 10 - Therefore, as we have an opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I think sometimes, myself being probably the world's worst, think that the only people who need love and support are the ones outside of the church. You know, the ones who have no clue who Christ is or what he did. I imagine even the apostles and disciples had days where they needed each other to keep moving on preaching God's Word. And one of my favorite people in the Bible, Paul..needed encouragement as he preached to the churches.

I think sometimes we tend to think that if we lay it all on God, that He is going to take care of it and things will just fall into place. Please hear me when I say I totally agree that we SHOULD do that, that's what He asked and told us to do, but He also gave us family, our Christian family so that in times of need and trouble, we can go to them for support, love and prayer. And I am the world's worst ( you all know that) about asking for help, But God actually tells us in Galatians to be a support for the family of believers.. Christians.. that's us!

So, know that there are probably some people around you, Christian friends and family, who are in need of your support and prayers today. With so much going on in the world right now, the job situations, money problems, family issues..there are so many opportunities to be the person God wants you to be, to let our lights shine. Pray that God shows it to you today.

The weekend my friends, was wonderful, it really was. I look forward to another great week. If you have noticed, i have not written everyday like normal lately. That would be because I seem to be always on the go w/ a child in high school who thinks she has to be involved in everything the school has going on. My intent is to though, at least write every other day and on good weeks maybe more. I hope you are all dong well and Lord willing, we will talk again soon.