Thursday, May 20, 2010

Lean on me......

I am learning that no matter how I slice it, no matter how much I try to remain calm and be positive, I will experience alot of stress in my life. I think stress and life go hand in hand pretty much. We coast along and everything is all gravy and then BAM, something happens and it throws us off. Seems to me, in my case these days, it hasn't really let up, only gotten worse. And me, when I get stressed, I do a few things: eat, sleep and basically disconnect myself from people around me. I don't wanna talk because that only makes me have to think more about it, eating calms me down (go figure) and sleep, well, it relaxes me. So I will admit it.. I do NOT cope well with and under alot of stress.

I took the past few days off to have a root canal, go to a few appointments and take my daughter to the orthodontist. It was just not a good day in the end and I let it get to me, bad.

This morning just was really a spill over from last night but I had an honor's day program to go to for one of my sons. I told myself and I was determined not to let my mood spoil his special day. Normally at his school, each class sings a song before they give out awards. I had already been to one honor's day program so I knew the routine. Now i love listening to kids sing, but boy do the schools know how to drag a program out. But I sat, smiled and waited for his song. He was in front so he saw me and when they started singing, he had the biggest smile and I started to cry.

"Lean on me, when you're not strong. And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on...."

I think I was the only parent in the whole auditorium crying and I even got some strange stares from others around me. I honestly had no clue this was the song they were singing and as I listened I thought about my son, looked at his smile and remembered the day he started school and now he was about to go to the 5th grade. No matter what is going on, that is a true blessing and I thought, not everything is bad. I thought about those words they were singing.. I don't know if they even know or realized what they meant, but for me, it totally took me back. All I could think about was no matter how stressed I was when I woke up that morning, when I walked in that school, that the only way to really start to get a grip on my stress and anxiety was to turn to Jesus. He's the one that I (and all of us) can lean on when it seems like we are not strong enough for anything. I mean I talk about it all the time right, I men I tell you all that anyway. But what is the old saying " it's easier said than done sometimes". Well, that is me.

Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find much rest for your souls. For my yoke fits you perfectly and the burden I give you is light."

I have been humming that song all day long now and probably will the rest of the night. I wouldn't say it took all the stress automatically away, but it's just a reminder for me that when we really pray and ask for God's help and guidance, that our minds would work so that every thought and movement is set on Jesus. I told someone today that we were not told is was going to be easy I guess, but we did get confirmation that done the right way, we don't have to carry the loads alone.

I hope you all have had a really good week. And the root canal, after 2 1/2 hrs went okay except for the part about me getting REALLY sick from the gas. Still have more work to be done (in time) but it's all good. Melinda and Jazzmine... thank you (you know why) !!! Love you all bunches and Lord willing, until next time....

2 comments:

  1. OMG! I WANT TO CRY...THINKING OF THOSE CUTE DIMPLES AND THOSE MUNCHIE CHEEKS SINGING ON STAGE. YOUR BOYS MAKE ME LOVE THEM LIKE THEY'RE MY NEPHEWS OR SOMETHING. I'M SO PROUD OF THEM...ALL OF YOUR CHILDREN AND YOU. YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD MOM. I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU. MORE IMPORTANTLY....I LOVE YOU.

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  2. Thank you Jazz, really! I love you too!!!

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