We started a new series in church this past Sunday on sin. Not the lightest topic of conversation let me assure you, but it is something that needs to be talked about. On Sunday nights, we have a small group discussion about what was talked about on Sunday mornings and basically, we kind of decided that in order to get rid of the sin in our lives, we first have to ask for forgiveness but also maybe if issues are going on in our lives, have someone help you. Meaning, if you struggle with something, maybe having someone you have to be accountable to might help you overcome it. I'll just say that we had a great discussion Sunday night. But as always, God puts those lessons in our lives at the right time.
I honestly have not much felt like writing the past week. I have a mental block or something... probably the "or something" more than anything. When I decided to write in the beginning, I remember this - Hebrews 3:13 - " But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." That was my main thing, I just wanted all of us to know that we need to be a constant encouragement to one another, building each one up, helping in any way we could. So now, with the new series at church and remembering why I started writing in the first place, I ask for your help.
My daughter and I are not really seeing eye to eye. We haven't really been in over a year now, but as she gets older, I get alot dumber in her mind so she feels like she can do whatever. I left work yesterday to pick her up from practice to find her not there. This was after a disagreement we had had. I made some phone calls to get some help and for about an hour we looked for her. My being upset with her not being there soon turned to panic w/ all the news of late of all the gang violence in Albany AND this is not the first time she has decided she did not like her situation and I had to find her. After an hour, she finally showed up, never even giving a thought to the fact that I was worried sick. I have dealt with this a long time.. the attitude, the whole thing. And don;t get me wrong, I KNOW alot of it is being a teenager, the pressures that they face which are nothing like when I was growing up... but even with that, alot of it is to just make me mad. So we go back and forth, making each other mad and it is getting us no where.
You all know that Brianna has no grandparents and her father is not in the picture, so it has been me taking care of all of it and if you know me, you know how stubborn I can be as far as asking for anything from anyone. That's just not me. BUT, it's about time I put that aside. I do not pretend to have all the answers nor am I perfect. I have made alot of mistakes when it comes to my family .. I try to do what I think is right but that does not always work. So now, I am asking, really begging that you pray for us. I have no intentions of letting Satan have my child under any circumstances, but I now also know I can't battle him alone... he's a tad bit stronger than me alone.
I would like for you all to please add her and my whole family actually to your prayers. If you see my daughter, please encourage her. Now she is stubborn like her mom, so she may look at you a little strange, she may say something, she may not... but maybe one day it will all click. If you see where I may need to do something different, handle something better with her, just tell me. I may have three children, but I still have a long way to go in raising them!
I apologize for this not being something bright and funny, but it's really been bothering me lately and it's just time for something to be done. I love you all very much and I do hope you have a great day!!
Lord willing, we will talk again soon!!