Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Expectations

" I know the Lord is speaking to me when the voice I hear is always challenging, always convicting, and never allows me to be comfortable where I am. Not having a father, what an honor it is to have One who loves me so much that His greatest desire is to see me grow." ~ Kirk Franklin

Seems that God is sending me all kinds of messages lately and last night in Bible class was no exception. We talked about expectations and what, if any we had when we were baptized and the ones we had from God. As soon as he started talking, I felt my brain start working. He asked a question.. when we were baptized, did you expect things to automatically change for you.. your life, your situations, just everything. Well I was baptized when I was 12, and no, I really didn't think my life would change all that much. I mean I was 12, my life was good. my mom and dad took care of me, I had everything I needed plus some, life was good. For me, being baptized that young was more of a duty. I knew I needed to do it, everyone else had so it was my turn. I didn't have a clue to be honest, didn't understand God's grace and point blank... didn't care.....

As we continued our discussion last night, someone said some thing about faith and our expectations ... the verse about moving mountains if you have faith the size of a mustard seed and how that was a hard verse for them because they had prayed and cried and cried and prayed and god said it so they expected some thing to happen and nothing did. That was me.... I was the same way for the whole first part of my life. I had done everything asked of me and nothing still was going right so I took it upon myself to do what I want and God let me have that... for a while. But there is no where (and if you find a verse that says something different please let me know) in the Bible that says life is going to be a matter of fact, in the book of James He TELLS us that we WILL got through trials.. he didn't say maybe, He didn't say might, He didn't say once.. He said we WILL go through trials in our lives and that we should consider it pure joy.. meaning a blessing that we do it because we learn from it. So god let me do my thing for a long time and when He was tired of me being a pain, not caring what was going on and basically saying its My way and you can't do a thing about it .. He quickly put a stop to it.. and I mean I KNEW it!

So do I think that if I have enough faith I can move a mountain.. I most certainly do! I also think though that sometimes I doubt and when I do... that faith is diminished. As I said earlier, I expected God to do certain things for me, I wanted him to handle the things going on in my life and as far as I was concerned, He didn't so I gave up...... luckily, he didn't give up on me! When it was time.... and I mean I was baptized at 12 and my time was not until recently... when I was in my thirties that I have come to the realization that God really does what he says He is going to do and that HE is listening to me but I am not always going to have my way... A father wouldn't be a true loving father if he gave his children every single thing they wanted without having them learn as they went along... know what it's like to have to work hard and even suffer a little to get it. I see God like that... I don't think He wants us to hurt or be in pain, but I do think that we learn through the things that go on in or lives... I know I have and still am.

God speaks to me everyday.My life doesn't automatically change when I talk to God but it sure does when He talks to me! My prayer is that you make an effort to listen to god's voice when He speaks to you. I hope you all have a great day!! Lord willing, we will talk again tomorrow!!

No comments:

Post a Comment