I have been up for the past 3 hours trying to figure out what to talk about today. I have started 4 or 5 different times and none of it made enough sense to hit "send" without people thinking I have finally lost what little bit of mind I have left. I honestly feel like my life is in turmoil now and day by day it gets worse. writing about what God has planned for us and what he wants us to do ..well as easy sometimes as it is to write about, its not so easy to listen to when you have so much going on.
Last night I had dinner and talked with a friend .... I had asked her earlier that day if she thought there really WAS a calm in storms. Its not like I really didn't know that answer, yesterday I just needed some reassurance.. to hear someone tell me. And of course she said yes. She explained to me that she finally realized that its fear that holds us back, the fear of not knowing what is going to happen and the fact that we can't control it. She reminded me that Jesus tells us to keep our eyes focused on Him, rely on Him and we don't do it. Then she told me this:
"ALL I can do when I am tired of being tired like this is beg God to lift me back up where I belong! And I truly mean that...I go for days...pleading for God to come and fill me with His spirit! I cannot stand living in this turmoil we call life. But God has me here....I'm leaning on Him to be sufficient for me...He promised me that."
Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life and I have had more than my share of those. Satan, wow... Satan seems to be running around tapping folks on the shoulder saying " here I am, I'm back to make your life miserable".. well mine anyway. Satan wants to see us fail, see and hear us say we give up, there is nothing left for me to do. But my friend is right, .....I need to (well we all do) be asking God to lift us back up above it all...all the turmoil and drama, the things that keep us down and look for God to fill us with His love, mercy and grace. Some days are harder than others, that's for sure, and like we have all heard before.. it's not easy but it sure will be worth it. There are things in life that are beyond my control. I have to come to the point where I can say I can't handle this and I am going to let God do what He said He would do. And just leave it.
I hope you all have a really good day. I am going to try to do the same. Lord willing, we will talk again tomorrow...