"MOTHER you are exasperating me!!!!!" That's my daughter's new catch phrase I guess. See, we have been talking about relationships in church and last week Greg preached on the parent/child relationship. And SURE enough in Colossians 3:21 it says
"Fathers (parents) do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart."
Okay, it says it.. don't exasperate, upset, make mad, provoke, be hard... however you want to say it, it says it there and we have to do it so that they don't lose heart. So now every time I open my mouth, the child says it. Now she is doing it as a joke cause she KNOWS better, and I tell her every time.. maybe you should read the WHOLE section on children obeying your parent.. etc.. she laughs and ignores me then.
But I have been thinking about that alot. I think I have, no I know I have exasperated my children before. I do think there is a fine line between making sure your child is doing right, and going a little over board. I have gone overboard before and that's not good. The last thing I or we as parents want is to run our children down, discourage them so that their spirit is broken.
So joke or not, when she says it, maybe I need to think about it before I say or do it. Raising children today is not easy and there are gonna be days when they really work your nerves, but we have to remember that although they are the kids and need to do what we say, we need to be making sure that we do it lovingly (as hard as that can be sometimes) and that we pray and ask God for guidance before making any harsh and rash decisions that could harm them not physically but emotionally for the rest of their lives.
I hope you all have a great weekend. I am leaving town today and Lord willing, will be back on Sunday night. So I probably won't send an e-mail out tomorrow.... until Monday... love ya!
It's just me and my thoughts
- No matter how mixed up it may seem, these are MY thoughts and how I see it
- I'm a simple girl who likes simple things. I am just trying to finally get my life in order. I write not really to give any kind of advice, but to kinda just talk my way through situations that happens to me. If I can help someone else along the way, then that's good too. I don't profess to have all the answers and as a matter of fact, I mess up quite often. But I know that God loves me amd wants nothing but the best for me and those around me. I hold on to that everyday. Not looking for any kudos, just trying to make it, one day at a time.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Last Chapter -- I Signed up to Make a Difference
We all want out lives to mean something, we want to be remembered but sometimes the problem is that we measure that "something" by our earthly wealth... the money, the cars, the schools, our families .. we want everyone to be able to SEE what we have, but that's not what its about. Its about being faithful... faithful to God, giving Him the glory, doing what we know is right even if no one every knows what we have done. And being faithful does not mean that you always get it right. I have heard so many people say " I have done so much, if I walk in the church building, the walls would fall down".. well guess what.. if that was true... NO ONE would be in the building!! And it would be as flat as a pancake! No one is perfect and even people who don;t write great books and get to be on TV can make a difference.
"Do you know what happens when God takes your mess and adds a little age to it??
"Mess + age = Message"
Everyone has a message to tell and use to encourage others. Whether is about God's blessings or God's mercy, we all need to know, the world needs to know!
Philippians 2:14-16 - " Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you holdout the word of life."
See, we don't need to be complaining about the mess we are in, we need to choose to move on and not get stuck in one spot so that you can help others!
I am definitely not a minister, and I sure don;t get it all right. My relationships have not always been great and my family is less than perfect, but I do know that maybe some of the things I have been through can help and encourage others. That's my goal, and not only does it help others, it helps me too. See I know now that God has a purpose for everything and although I may not understand it all, I know He has my best interest at heart and God's gonna get me through! That's what I hold on to.
I really like what she said at the end of the chapter and I will leave you today with that:
"Jesus said, " If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me". If we want to make a difference, we will share our lives in a way that Jesus is lifted up. The punchline to every testimony must be " But God!"
I was in pain, but God...
I made some foolish choices, but God.....
I couldn't find me way, but God....
See, it's never about us. It's about God. Remember that,and you are half-way healed."
I hope you all have a GREAT day!! I love you all and Lord willing, we will talk again tomorrow!
"Do you know what happens when God takes your mess and adds a little age to it??
"Mess + age = Message"
Everyone has a message to tell and use to encourage others. Whether is about God's blessings or God's mercy, we all need to know, the world needs to know!
Philippians 2:14-16 - " Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you holdout the word of life."
See, we don't need to be complaining about the mess we are in, we need to choose to move on and not get stuck in one spot so that you can help others!
I am definitely not a minister, and I sure don;t get it all right. My relationships have not always been great and my family is less than perfect, but I do know that maybe some of the things I have been through can help and encourage others. That's my goal, and not only does it help others, it helps me too. See I know now that God has a purpose for everything and although I may not understand it all, I know He has my best interest at heart and God's gonna get me through! That's what I hold on to.
I really like what she said at the end of the chapter and I will leave you today with that:
"Jesus said, " If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me". If we want to make a difference, we will share our lives in a way that Jesus is lifted up. The punchline to every testimony must be " But God!"
I was in pain, but God...
I made some foolish choices, but God.....
I couldn't find me way, but God....
See, it's never about us. It's about God. Remember that,and you are half-way healed."
I hope you all have a GREAT day!! I love you all and Lord willing, we will talk again tomorrow!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tracy
My brother just called me.... don't know when or how long.. but he's being deployed to Iraq.
I think I just got sick.......
I think I just got sick.......
So yesterday was daddy's birthday
and today is my sister's birthday. Bet y'all didn't know I had an older sister did ya. Well, I do and today she turns 46 (or maybe its 47).. but she is about 10 years older than me. We didn't grow up in the same house. We have the same daddy, her mom died before I was born. Now her and my brother are pretty tight, they even look alike (like my daddy), but me and her and oil and water, salt and pepper. We are just different and have never been really close. I mean I can remember looking up to her when she left to go in the Navy but after that, its all a blur. She left Albany, never to return again and maybe I resented that a little. She has other brothers and sisters that live here, that are not my bothers and sisters but we all have the same last name.. go figure right??? She actually comes here to see them all the time but I never know she is here until she is gone. That always bothered me.. why I don't know, but it did. Anyway, I have a niece that is 25 and a nephew that is 15. They all live in Fl except my niece who is in the Navy overseas somewhere right now. Last time I saw my sister was at my grandma's funeral.. that was a few yrs ago.. the time before that was our daddy's funeral, that was 10 yrs ago.
But I always remember her birthday, it helps that is was close to daddy's.. maybe I'll call her today......
But I always remember her birthday, it helps that is was close to daddy's.. maybe I'll call her today......
Chapter 9 - I Signed up for the Perfect Little Family
**sigh** as I began to read this chapter, I already think I know the first, middle and last word in it. It seems to be very much about me.
My perfect little family started when I was 22 years old and I had my first child. Alone. Not what I had hoped for and thought about when I was younger, but it was happening so I might as well had been ready. Although I was 22, being a single mom was no picnic. So at 25, when I met my soon to be husband, I was thrilled. I was about to have that perfect family I had dreamed about. You know, we were going to have the house, 2 kids (I was already ahead on that one), two cars, and a picket fence with rocking chairs on the porch to watch the kiddos play in the yard. Ahhh yes, life was grand.... for a while anyway. And then the worst possible thing could have happened.. he decided that was not the life he wanted anymore so off he went. And me... I got the apartment, no rocking chairs or fence and the 2 kids turned into 3. My perfect family was pretty much gone in a flash right before my eyes.
My daughter took it the hardest... the boys were still really young then. But she saw and heard things that I would imagine that no child, or even some adults should hear or see. The fussing and fighting, and I honestly think now because of that, she has some real issues with relationships. We are working on that...For a while, I was in a funk that seems to get deeper and deeper as the days went on. I couldn't figure out why in the world my friends "X" over here were doing so wonderfully and "Y' seemed to have the life that I always dreamed of having. Well it didn't matter anyway, that was done and I still had to press on.. you know fight the good fight and all that jazz. So, put up this barrier... I mean NO one was breaking that thing. It never really mattered to me at that point what God thought, I was more concerned with what my friends and people I worked with thought. It was all a hot mess. The kids got older, my life was a wreck, home wasn't all that great, but to see us on the outside you would have never known it unless you really knew me. It was all about appearances. You know, when the folks at church ask how you are and you say "FINE" with a big smile when inside you wanna fall to the floor crying and tell them the real deal. But it doesn't matter what the people around you think.. it's what my children KNEW and more importantly, as Donne puts it in the book, It was God's opinion that counted the most. See, God knew and knows our hearts.. we can't fool Him no matter how hard we try and we will be rewarded on what is in our hearts ,not how we perform in front of others.
And before you read this part.. know that I have been guilty and am guilty of this too. And I never really thought about it until I read it in the book, because I have always thought I had my children's best interest at heart when it cam to their lives. But we can over do it sometimes I guess. But, we can get make sure our kids go to the best schools in the world, put them in all the sports activities we can get gas to drive them around too, make sure they are taking the hardest classes in Hg school so they can go to the best colleges in the world, make alot of money and buy a big house for them and you when you retire and get old. Buy the biggest and the best so that when they die, they will have alot of stuff, and it will have absolutely no meaning in the end. There is nothing wrong w/ sports activities, nothing wrong with children being smart and going to good schools and colleges, but have you ever thought why you want it? Is it because the kids really love to play it and want to go, or is it because we are living out some life long fantasies we once had and we are trying hard to keep up w/ the Joneses?
Psalms 112:1-2 " Blessed is the woman who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. Her children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed." See, God promises a gift to my children, a blessing for my obedience. My life may not be perfect, but through obedience, my children will be able to tell of God's greatness and that makes it better. No, not the perfect life, not the one I signed up for, but for my children, I fight to the end!
My perfect little family started when I was 22 years old and I had my first child. Alone. Not what I had hoped for and thought about when I was younger, but it was happening so I might as well had been ready. Although I was 22, being a single mom was no picnic. So at 25, when I met my soon to be husband, I was thrilled. I was about to have that perfect family I had dreamed about. You know, we were going to have the house, 2 kids (I was already ahead on that one), two cars, and a picket fence with rocking chairs on the porch to watch the kiddos play in the yard. Ahhh yes, life was grand.... for a while anyway. And then the worst possible thing could have happened.. he decided that was not the life he wanted anymore so off he went. And me... I got the apartment, no rocking chairs or fence and the 2 kids turned into 3. My perfect family was pretty much gone in a flash right before my eyes.
My daughter took it the hardest... the boys were still really young then. But she saw and heard things that I would imagine that no child, or even some adults should hear or see. The fussing and fighting, and I honestly think now because of that, she has some real issues with relationships. We are working on that...For a while, I was in a funk that seems to get deeper and deeper as the days went on. I couldn't figure out why in the world my friends "X" over here were doing so wonderfully and "Y' seemed to have the life that I always dreamed of having. Well it didn't matter anyway, that was done and I still had to press on.. you know fight the good fight and all that jazz. So, put up this barrier... I mean NO one was breaking that thing. It never really mattered to me at that point what God thought, I was more concerned with what my friends and people I worked with thought. It was all a hot mess. The kids got older, my life was a wreck, home wasn't all that great, but to see us on the outside you would have never known it unless you really knew me. It was all about appearances. You know, when the folks at church ask how you are and you say "FINE" with a big smile when inside you wanna fall to the floor crying and tell them the real deal. But it doesn't matter what the people around you think.. it's what my children KNEW and more importantly, as Donne puts it in the book, It was God's opinion that counted the most. See, God knew and knows our hearts.. we can't fool Him no matter how hard we try and we will be rewarded on what is in our hearts ,not how we perform in front of others.
And before you read this part.. know that I have been guilty and am guilty of this too. And I never really thought about it until I read it in the book, because I have always thought I had my children's best interest at heart when it cam to their lives. But we can over do it sometimes I guess. But, we can get make sure our kids go to the best schools in the world, put them in all the sports activities we can get gas to drive them around too, make sure they are taking the hardest classes in Hg school so they can go to the best colleges in the world, make alot of money and buy a big house for them and you when you retire and get old. Buy the biggest and the best so that when they die, they will have alot of stuff, and it will have absolutely no meaning in the end. There is nothing wrong w/ sports activities, nothing wrong with children being smart and going to good schools and colleges, but have you ever thought why you want it? Is it because the kids really love to play it and want to go, or is it because we are living out some life long fantasies we once had and we are trying hard to keep up w/ the Joneses?
Psalms 112:1-2 " Blessed is the woman who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. Her children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed." See, God promises a gift to my children, a blessing for my obedience. My life may not be perfect, but through obedience, my children will be able to tell of God's greatness and that makes it better. No, not the perfect life, not the one I signed up for, but for my children, I fight to the end!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Happy Birthday to you........
My girlfriend e-mailed me this morning and was just asking me about my weekend. I answered her but I guess not like she knew I should answer and she wanted to know what was wrong. I mean nothing that I know of other than it's Monday morning and maybe the blahs ya know..... then I started typing a Contract at work and I typed the day and it hit me just then... today my daddy would have been 70 years old. It's his birthday. Wow...... I hate that I am forgetting days like that though.. maybe its getting older or maybe it's just that God is helping me not to be so stressed out. I don't know....
My daddy's favorite place to eat was anywhere that had steak so on his birthday, he normally picked a place and that's what we ate for dinner. He wasn't a picky man, not into flashy stuff at all. A few weeks ago he was described as a big teddy bear. I mean he was about 6'1 or so, about 270 lbs give or take a few and had the look of being someone who could take you out w/ one blow, but he was the kindest, sweetest, gentelest man you would ever want to meet. And that's not just because I am his daughter, it's the truth!
One of the MANY memories I have of my daddy (and I could go on and on literally about the stuff he did) but one of his favorite things to do was sit in the middle of the mall w/ my grandma (his mom) and eat ice cream and talk to people. He didn't care who it was he just liked to talk. Well one day, I was actually in the mall w/ them (shopping) and there was a group of school children taking a tour of the mall from out of town. They were about 4 or 5 years old. Anyway, he starts talking to the teachers and they tell him they are from out of town and he goes over to the ice cream place and buys them all ice cream cones. They even took a picture of him with the class and published it in their town newspaper. I have that in a box somewhere.. I need to find it.
But that's what I remember. And he was always like that, with my brother and I, with stragners.. that was just him. God really broke the mold when he made my daddy 9maybe that's the daughter coming out again.LOL), but its true. I am soooo proud and truly blessed to have been given the parents God chose for me. I miss my daddy alot.... but one day we'll get to eat that ice cream cone again!!
Happy Birthday!!!
My daddy's favorite place to eat was anywhere that had steak so on his birthday, he normally picked a place and that's what we ate for dinner. He wasn't a picky man, not into flashy stuff at all. A few weeks ago he was described as a big teddy bear. I mean he was about 6'1 or so, about 270 lbs give or take a few and had the look of being someone who could take you out w/ one blow, but he was the kindest, sweetest, gentelest man you would ever want to meet. And that's not just because I am his daughter, it's the truth!
One of the MANY memories I have of my daddy (and I could go on and on literally about the stuff he did) but one of his favorite things to do was sit in the middle of the mall w/ my grandma (his mom) and eat ice cream and talk to people. He didn't care who it was he just liked to talk. Well one day, I was actually in the mall w/ them (shopping) and there was a group of school children taking a tour of the mall from out of town. They were about 4 or 5 years old. Anyway, he starts talking to the teachers and they tell him they are from out of town and he goes over to the ice cream place and buys them all ice cream cones. They even took a picture of him with the class and published it in their town newspaper. I have that in a box somewhere.. I need to find it.
But that's what I remember. And he was always like that, with my brother and I, with stragners.. that was just him. God really broke the mold when he made my daddy 9maybe that's the daughter coming out again.LOL), but its true. I am soooo proud and truly blessed to have been given the parents God chose for me. I miss my daddy alot.... but one day we'll get to eat that ice cream cone again!!
Happy Birthday!!!
Chapter 7 and 8.. I signed up for good health and love
About 3 years ago I had to have surgery. It would be what doctors called minor surgery, but for me it was pretty major considering my mom died from "minor surgery". I basically panicked when I found out. I was very lucky in the fact that my primary doctor was a member of my church and the doctor doing my surgery was a friend of his who had gone to school with him. It made me feel a little better although I was still scared to death. I haven't been sick alot in my life except for that time and I really feel like God has blessed me with good health, although all my doctors now seem to "want me" to have high blood pressure or diabetes because I am what they call over weight (haha). I don't though and for that I am thankful, but I do realize that there are people who go through life daily being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I am no expert on this chapter by any means, but I am reminded through the book about Job. Job was called "blameless and upright" by God and Satan thought he could break Job by making him sick with sores and illnesses, taking everything from him. Satan actually asked permission from God to do these things and God granted him that. Seems unfair, not really right since Job did nothing to deserve it, but maybe God allows it so that His power and will can be seen and done. Honestly I just don't know, but then again, it may not be meant for me to know either. I just know that God uses everything in our lives for a purpose, for us to be able to tell a story and help someone else and although Job didn't sign up for the sickness, in the end he finally DOES get the life he signed up for. Although the suffering was bad, it was for only a brief season in his life.
Now this love thing..... as I read chapter 8, I wondered if she was looking in my mirror at night or something.. haha. And I thought about that song "looking for love in all the wrong places".. that was me. She talked about the "bucket lady" in the book. Seems that there is a book floating around out there about this and I plan on finding it, but this lady, the bucket lady thinks that the answer to her emptiness is right around the corner so she tries to fill it up every chance she gets, but never seems to get it all right. That was DEFINITELY me! Always trying to find something or someone to love cause I thought that once I did, life would be good.... well two divorces and many a friend later, I have finally (I hope) figured out that life is not about that. I can honestly say that my children love me. They may not LIKE me all the time, and although its a little irritating to wake up and my sons are at the foot of my bed, I kinda smile cause they want me around. I get excited when my teenager looks for me at her sporting events. have girlfriends who love me no matter how many rolls I have in my stomach and tell me how good I look in my new outfits and mean it!
And the best love of all is God's love.
Ephesians 3:16-19 - "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
She said in the book that it is amazing that once you allow God to fill you, something beautiful happens and she is right. I can honestly say that this past year has been great. Its a process and it sure does not happen over night and yep, I still have a long way to go, but I want to be a blessing for others.. my children, my family, friends.. I want them to see God's love through me.. that the life I signed up for!
I am no expert on this chapter by any means, but I am reminded through the book about Job. Job was called "blameless and upright" by God and Satan thought he could break Job by making him sick with sores and illnesses, taking everything from him. Satan actually asked permission from God to do these things and God granted him that. Seems unfair, not really right since Job did nothing to deserve it, but maybe God allows it so that His power and will can be seen and done. Honestly I just don't know, but then again, it may not be meant for me to know either. I just know that God uses everything in our lives for a purpose, for us to be able to tell a story and help someone else and although Job didn't sign up for the sickness, in the end he finally DOES get the life he signed up for. Although the suffering was bad, it was for only a brief season in his life.
Now this love thing..... as I read chapter 8, I wondered if she was looking in my mirror at night or something.. haha. And I thought about that song "looking for love in all the wrong places".. that was me. She talked about the "bucket lady" in the book. Seems that there is a book floating around out there about this and I plan on finding it, but this lady, the bucket lady thinks that the answer to her emptiness is right around the corner so she tries to fill it up every chance she gets, but never seems to get it all right. That was DEFINITELY me! Always trying to find something or someone to love cause I thought that once I did, life would be good.... well two divorces and many a friend later, I have finally (I hope) figured out that life is not about that. I can honestly say that my children love me. They may not LIKE me all the time, and although its a little irritating to wake up and my sons are at the foot of my bed, I kinda smile cause they want me around. I get excited when my teenager looks for me at her sporting events. have girlfriends who love me no matter how many rolls I have in my stomach and tell me how good I look in my new outfits and mean it!
And the best love of all is God's love.
Ephesians 3:16-19 - "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
She said in the book that it is amazing that once you allow God to fill you, something beautiful happens and she is right. I can honestly say that this past year has been great. Its a process and it sure does not happen over night and yep, I still have a long way to go, but I want to be a blessing for others.. my children, my family, friends.. I want them to see God's love through me.. that the life I signed up for!
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