My world and how I see it

Two years ago, I was sitting in a college gym. I was excited and scared at the same time. So many emotions were running through my mind and all I could think was “why did it happen so fast”. My first born, only daughter, was actually thinking about leaving home and going off to college, when we had two perfectly good colleges right in our hometown, one of them only 5 minutes away from my house. Granted, it was only 45 minutes away from home, but still, it wasn’t home. She pretty much insisted that I bring her here so we cold “look around” but I knew for a fact I would not like it, but I reluctantly came anyway.

We sat in this very gym and listened to instructions for the day, where the students would be and where the parents would go.. and I thought “ great, now they are going to fill her head with all kinds of things and I will never get her to just stay home with me”. But off she went and I sat here..waiting on the next speaker.

It was some woman, a mom, and she started talking about how her son was a junior the college. She babbled on about how we (well I) needed to let go, let them enjoy college, their new life. Don’t call everyday. Give them space, don’t send money every time they call,  and the one that REALLY got me was  “don’t show up without calling”…really??? Me, being the  VERY overprotective and always ready to fix ANY situation when it came to my kids thought to myself “ Lady, you don’t know MY child. You have no clue how much she needs me still and how I have to make sure everything is okay so she will be okay. I mean, she really can’t even wash her own clothes all that well”!!!  So no…… as much as I admire you for getting up and speaking to all these people, I WIL do just what I want with MY child.


Move in day came. And it was raining…. Hard and me, knowing that God really does answer prayers just knew this was a sign that we did NOT need to be going anywhere. I was still secretly hoping she would change her mind and just go to school at home for a while but no such luck. We lugged all the totes and boxes up to her room. Longest haul of my life!


We finally got everything in the room after a million trips to the car and proceeded to start decorating. After a long day of the back and forth to Wal-Mart (her new favorite place) it was time for me to head home.  I don’t think I hugged her, I don’t even think I actually said goodbye…. Just, I’ll call you later and left …. Because I knew what was coming.


No sooner had I hit the car, the tears started rolling and pretty much lasted from move in day August until roughly around October, give or take a few days. While I was crying, she didn’t really seem to be bothered and when I heard from her, TWO DAYS LATER mind you, she sounded ….. good, happy. She told me about all that had been going on the first week that was for freshmen to basically meet people and mingle, the clubs she wanted to join, the classes and teachers she was going to have and just how much fun she was having.


I was taken aback. She hadn’t been crying and sulking around like me? She said that after I left, she sat on the bed for a minute and wondered “ what’s next”.. but as soon as someone down the hall knocked on her door and said  “come on” she got up, and hasn’t stopped moving since.


Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)"^"Point your kids in the right direction—when they’re old they won’t be lost."

So today, I sit the mom of a college junior.  And believe it or not, she is okay and so am I finally.I had to trust that what I had taught her the first 18 years of her life she still had in her. That she knew the difference between right and wrong. She was going to make mistakes, but own up to them and make any corrections necessary. That she would ask questions if she didn’t know the answers. That she would have total respect for others and help in any way that she could. That she would be the woman, I knew would make me proud.

I've prayed to God that one day the writing thing would come back. It de-stresses me. It gives me reminders and makes me study. It lets me know that no matter how stressed out life is getting, God, who was there in 2008 when I started all of this, is still there saying " when you are ready, so am I"

A work in progress..... that's me.

Remember to always "be a blessing"!