My world and how I see it

I recently read somewhere that " if Christians only trusted in God more, that all their stress would go away".

A rocket scientist I am not, but I am a human being, a mom, a sister, a friend, a co-worker and a Christian and I believe that God is sovereign over all, and in control even when we seem to think we have it all handled. I don't however think that just because we believe, means that the stress automatically goes away. We ARE human and whether we like to hear it or not, our humanity can be easily cracked and get very weak. And a BIGGER surprise to some of you, God is fully aware of this but it will not stop things from happening or issues from coming up. He knows also that we will probably not handle most of them well, because it IS US trying to handle them.

I so think though that the stress we have, some brought on by our own hands, is a way of reconnecting with God. In the past few months, I haven't written much, not talked to alot of people, and pretty much been to myself because of stress. Some by my hands, some not. And to be honest, I have been trying to figure it all out. See, I know that God is Jehovah Elohim, the Eternal Creator, I know that He is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, He is Jehovah Shalom, Lord of Peace and Jehovah Eloheenu, the Lord our God. He is Jehovah and Elyon, Sovereign and Most High and even knowing all of that, I still have a really hard time letting go and saying I can't do it.

Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message) "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

My fears of loneliness, the stress of life, my own sins that seem to resurface even after years and years, being terrified and not able to provide for my family like I need to make me paranoid, afraid and basically a prisoner in my own body. I have seriously been wrestling with if the places I am today are really where I need to be. I am not a big fan of change of any kind, makes me nervous and in order to avoid that, maybe that meant me making some moves. I told a friend today that its really sad when you KNOW better and still don't do it. Wait til stuff is so bad to just get down and pray. Makes you wonder if He's even listening to anything you have to say anyway.

A mother, a sister, a friend, a co-worker, but before all of this I am a Christian and if my fears paralyze me enough to stop me in my own tracks, what am I showing to my kids, friends and co-workers? That I can talk really good games....but when it all boils down, if I can't do it myself, then it's not worth doing?

I think I have spent the past few months trying to come up with the perfect answer. You know, the Bible one that sounds really good and makes us seem really smart. Like we did it ourselves. But after racking my brain over and over, all I got is

"And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep you hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Yep, biblical, I don't get any kudos for being extra smart. When we are really praying and asking God to help us because we are at our breaking point, whether we asked from the very beginning or we waiting until we couldn't take it anymore. When we are truly sincere about our prayers and the things we are asking for, then God gives us a peace that will keep us jumping off that ledge or reaching that point of no return for some. He is going to make happen what we thought would be impossible or couldn't be done, IF it's in His plan (that's the part that trips me up all the time). And when we truly case those burdens and worries, the stresses of life on Him, that is when He will do what He promised and take those burdens on Himself and gives us some rest.

I really do hope that all of you have been good. Keep praying for each other, even the ones in this e-mail you might not know. And as always " Be blessed and be a blessing"