This past weekend, I went to a block party. A block party in the neighborhood I grew up in, with music, food and old friends. They had been planning the party for months and I actually was helping with it some, but my intent was not to even go to the party. Rarely do I ever go back and just see the old neighborhood, mainly because I hate looking at my old house. It just brings back alot of memories. I remember riding over there a few years ago and just broke down because it was obvious to me that they didn't care about my house as much and my mom and dad did.
I got a call though the day of the party ( I was actually getting dressed to go somewhere else) and basically I was getting encouraged to come. That I needed some "closure" I guess. So after a few hours, I finally broke down and went. As I drove up, my heart began beating really fast. I could hear the music being played at the party, but before I even got that far, I saw the house and once again, those tears swelled up. But I started to remember all the good times, the fun stuff: playing ball in "the circle", getting on the bus at the first bus stop, which was the best one I might add, meeting under the street light in front of my house and hearing my momma yell at me to be in the house before the street light came on. I snapped a few pics with my cell phone for my brother, and went on to the party. It was great seeing my friends and I didn't stay long, but I am really glad I went.
I let go of my past hurts and pain a while ago. I mean I still think about my parents, my friends from East Gate, but it's not as bad. And the day I sold that house, well, it was through being "my house". And further more, before I or anyone else can really start to move forward in doing what Christ wants us to do, we have to let go and fully let go of the past so that God's plan can be fulfilled. As Christians, I think sometimes we are bound up in everything from our pasts and therefore we cannot fully live in the present which is not what God wants. And I don't think God wants us to forget. I mean thinking about the good times is wonderful, and talking about them from time to time is refreshing but it is when we get so consumed in it, that we lose sight of the goal at hand. So the choice becomes ours. We can either let past hurts and pains keep us from moving forward or we can let God be God and heal some of those pains so that we will began to see the plans for our lives.
I pray you all had a safe and happy 4th of July. "Lord willing and the creek don't rise" (my daddy's favorite saying) we will talk again soon..
Love ya!
It's just me and my thoughts
- No matter how mixed up it may seem, these are MY thoughts and how I see it
- I'm a simple girl who likes simple things. I am just trying to finally get my life in order. I write not really to give any kind of advice, but to kinda just talk my way through situations that happens to me. If I can help someone else along the way, then that's good too. I don't profess to have all the answers and as a matter of fact, I mess up quite often. But I know that God loves me amd wants nothing but the best for me and those around me. I hold on to that everyday. Not looking for any kudos, just trying to make it, one day at a time.
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