My world and how I see it

Yesterday was the 11th year anniversary of my mom's death. But it was a good day for me. The kids started school and I couldn't help but think how she was probably smiling at her grandchildren as they got ready. Her only granddaughter started high school yesterday, her oldest grandson will be in high school next week, and the two youngest ones had the biggest smiles on their faces as I walked them to class. Yep, she was happy and she was proud. My brother called me... he is a really private person, never telling anyone what is really going on but I knew yesterday. He still has a hard time (and I do too sometimes) with it. He doesn't understand and he looks to me to try to make it make sense to him. I do what I can, and he accepts that each year. We miss her alot but I know she is still here watching over us.

When I got to work, I heard/read about the gunman who went into the gym and shot it up, killing 3 women, wounding many more.My heart goes out to the family members of the victim, I cannot imagine anything like that happening and I pray I never do. But as I thought and heard more about the story, I started to feel sympathy for the man too. By NO means do I condone what he did and I definitely think that he was a very sick man, but from what I read, he was also a lonely man. From the blogs and notes I guess he left, he talked of being alone and not having anyone in his life. And I can almost feel his pain.

Loneliness can lead into all kinds of depression, I know this first hand. Now I have never thought of harming anyone during my bouts but I have thought of harming myself. There is something that just clicks in you that you can't go on anymore and you feel like it is the only way out. I don't know.. its hard to explain if you have never felt it that deep before, but those feelings are very real. That is why I think it is so important to get to know people. Not be all in their business all the time, but step outside of your boxes and try some different things. God expects us to have relationships with each other and to help each other when we can. That doesn't mean you can fix all their problems, it doesn't mean that you have to even give your opinion when people come to you.. sometimes they just come for you to listen. But it does mean opening your heart, your ears, your home, and giving of yourselves to others. Like I have said many times before.. you never know who you might be helping by just being thoughtful and kind.

I am praying for the victims (and their families) of this situation and also the guy who did this crime and his family. God be with them all...

I hope you all have a blessed day. It's been a good week so far, praise the Lord. We will talk again tomorrow, Lord willing...